


Stay Alive

by molstrom



Series: Wait For It [6]
Category: Sons of Anarchy, Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 28,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27276844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molstrom/pseuds/molstrom
Summary: Follows immediately after "You'll Be Back". Set during season four of SoA, as usual though, I'm playing fast and loose with canon.
Relationships: Veronica Mars/Jax Teller/Juice Ortiz
Series: Wait For It [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968967
Kudos: 7





	1. One

When Juice gets home later that night, I’m sitting on the couch feeding Xander. He leans over to kiss me and I say:  
“You reek like gunpowder and blood. Go shower.”  
“I love that you say that with a straight face.”  
“Yeah…I don’t love it so much.”

He goes to shower and by the time he’s out, Xander is asleep in his crib and I’m lying in bed reading a book. He climbs into bed next to me and takes my book out of my hands before pulling me into his arms.  
“Who did you kill?”  
“The Russians.”  
“Of course…with the deal with the cartel, you don’t need the Russians anymore. They were just in the way.”  
“How do you know about the cartel?”  
“Marcus. He told me all about the deal Clay made while he was inside. Selling guns to the cartel and running coke from the cartel to the Mayans. I’m so not happy about this.”  
“What? Coke? We never agreed to that.”  
“Clay did.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yup.”  
“Shit.”  
“I’m not going to push here, babe…But now seems like a really good time to just…disappear.”  
“You might be right. Let’s keep that idea on the back burner for now, okay?”  
“Yeah.”

He nuzzles the side of my head with his nose and says:  
“Jax wanted to know if he could come over…If I’d be willing to share you with him.”  
“Share me?! Like…both of you in me at once, or you taking turns with me?”  
“Either…Neither…Both? Whatever you want.”  
“Neither. I just want you.”  
“I like that answer.”  
“Of course you do.”  
“Are you tired, baby?”  
“Yeah…I didn’t sleep well last night, being alone for the first time in over a year.”  
“Turn off the light, let’s go to sleep.”

I roll over to turn off the light, then snuggle back into him, my ear pressed against his chest. I sigh as I get comfortable and he says:  
“Why the sigh?”  
“I just missed the sound of your heartbeat. You feel different…your arms feel different…but your heartbeat is the same as it was when we were sixteen. It’s my favourite sound in the world.”  
“My heartbeat is your favourite sound in the world?”  
“Yeah. It makes me feel safe…protected…loved. It always has. Why is that strange? What’s your favourite sound?”  
“When you’re baking or shaving your legs or rocking Xander, you sing. It’s not loud, but it’s there. That happy sound…That’s my favourite sound in the world.”  
“…sappy boy.”  
“Only for you, babe. Go to sleep, sweetheart.”

When I wake up in the morning, he’s not in bed, but I can hear him talking to Xander. I get up and walk into the living room with a grin on my face and find Juice and Jax sitting on the couch with Xander sitting between them.  
“Good morning, boys.”  
I walk over to Juice and sit on his lap, leaning over Xander to kiss Jax’s cheek. Juice says:  
“I was just filling Jax in on our cartel deal.”  
“Ah.”  
Jax says:  
“You’re sure about this?”  
“Yeah. Marcus told me himself.”  
“Jesus Christ. Well, at least I won’t be blindsided at my cartel meeting this morning. Thanks, babe. Speaking of which, I should go before I’m late.”

He stands up and looks at Juice. I can feel Juice nod before Jax leans down and kisses me, deep and passionate. I moan against his mouth and wrap one arm around his neck and the other around Juice’s neck behind me. Juice starts nibbling on my neck as I continue to kiss Jax. By the time we pull apart, all three of us are breathing heavily, both guys are hard, and I’m soaking wet. Jax presses his forehead into mine and whispers:  
“Change your mind, Ronnie. Let us share you. Let us show you how much we both love you.”  
“I will think about it. Go. Don’t be late to meet the cartel.”

He starts to walk towards the door and I say:  
“Jax?”  
“Yeah, baby?”  
“Stay alive.”  
“Always.”  
He winks at me and leaves the house.

Juice kisses the side of my neck and says:  
“You want both of us. You don’t need to pretend otherwise, love.”  
“Don’t you have work?”  
“Yeah. I’m working in the garage today.”  
I gasp and turn to face him, shocked.  
“Oh, shut up. I do work in the garage sometimes, you know.”  
“You’re a shitty mechanic, babe.”  
“Unser needs help with his motorcycle.”  
“Has he ridden it since the Reagan administration?”  
“Oooh…I’m gonna tell him you said that.”  
“You feel free. Munchkin and I will be at TM later anyways. I’ll sass Uncle Touchy to his face.”  
“Uncle Touchy? That makes him sound like a pedophile.”  
I laugh and say:  
“It was all Grandma…Wasn’t it Xander? All Grandma’s idea.”  
“So…which mom is Grandma?”  
“Gemma. Gemma is Grandma. Alicia is Grammy.”  
“And my mom?”  
“Your parents won’t acknowledge Xander’s existence. Your mom told me that as far as they are concerned, you’re dead and their only grandchild is Angelica.”  
“Wow. I didn’t expect her to be quite so awful.”  
“Yeah…me either.”  
“And your mom?”  
“My mother found out that her new husband jerks off to my movies every night before climbing into bed with her…So she’s decided that I don’t exist. She won’t let me meet my siblings, she doesn’t want to meet Xander.”  
“You are your stepdad’s favourite porn star?”  
“Apparently. I’ve never met the man.”  
“God, our parents suck. Thank goodness for Keith and Alicia.”  
“And Gemma and Clay.”  
“Yeah…I guess.”

I stand up and pick up Xander.   
“Has he had breakfast?”  
“Nope.”  
“Okay. I’ll handle it. Go get ready for work.”

After he leaves for TM, I get Xander and myself ready for our day. We have coffee with Rita and Eglee, then go to the library for storytime. We get to TM as the guys are all headed for their bikes. I walk up to Juice and say:  
“What’s going on?”  
“We have a complication.”  
Gemma is talking to Clay, and we both say at the same time:  
“Where’s Jax?”  
Then I say:  
“And Opie?”

No-one answers us, so we both say:  
“Shit.”


	2. Two

The sheriff’s department pulls into the lot then, and Clay tells Gemma to call T.O. to go to the reservation. I walk over to Roosevelt, Xander in my arms, and say:  
“Eli, what is this?”  
“A homicide investigation.”  
“Of the dead Russians? Come on, Eli. You know all these guys were on the reservation all night. There was a wedding. You know this because you were right outside the gate. You know they didn’t leave.”  
“Stay out of this, Veronica.”  
“Uh…no. I won’t.”  
“Okay. Why were you home so early?”  
“Because the night before last was the first night I had slept alone for over a year. I didn’t sleep well. I had nightmares. Some of which featured my best friend, the day before his wedding. So last night, I came home early. Sent your wife home, hung out with my kid. Your nephew. These guys didn’t kill anyone.”  
“You weren’t there.”  
“Sure. But I’m familiar with the scent of gunpowder and blood. When Juice came home, he just smelled like Juice. No trace of murderous scents. You’re barking up the wrong tree.”  
“So it wasn’t Juice. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t any of them.”  
“You’re wasting your time…and ours, Sheriff.”  
“That may be. Step aside, Mrs. Ortiz.”

I step out of the way, and they all go into the clubhouse. We all follow and I have to hold on to Juice and Chibs while Eli smashes the wall with a fire axe and then damages the chapel table. 

When he leaves, the guys all take off and Gemma and I wait worriedly for them to get back, not knowing what the issue with Jax and Opie is. I call Lyla and tell her she should come to TM to be here when they get back. 

When they pull into the lot, Juice takes Xander out of my arms and says:  
“Jax is in bad shape. I think he needs to go to the hospital, but he won’t go. Talk to him?”  
“Yeah.”

I walk over to the flatbed truck and Jax gets out. I wrap my arms around him and end up mostly supporting his weight.  
“Honey, I think you need to go to the hospital.”  
“You have practice with wounds and stuff. Can you just look first? I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

He’s clinging to me, so I put my hands on his face and kiss him before saying:  
“Yeah, okay baby. I’ll look at them, but if it’s above my skill set, I’m taking you to the hospital.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

We go into the clubhouse and while everyone else surveys the damage, I lead Jax into the apartment. I push him towards the bed and say:  
“Sit.”  
Once he’s sitting, I go into the bathroom and wet a cloth. I clean the blood and dust off of him, and suddenly his wounds don’t look so bad.  
“I think you’ll live.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Head wounds just bleed a lot. I don’t want you alone tonight though. You’ll have to sleep with us. I’m afraid you have a concussion. Don’t want you to stop breathing in your sleep.”  
“Oh…What a hardship, having to sleep with you and Juice.”  
“So much snark.”  
“You love it.”  
“No, I love you. There’s a difference.”

He grins and pulls me closer to him before kissing me.  
“You going to let us show you how much we love you? How much we can love each other?”  
“Not tonight.”  
“That’s not a no.”  
“Such a smart boy.”  
“Little girl…”  
I grin and step back from him, pulling him up so he’s standing.  
“Let’s go join the land of the living.”

We walk out into the main clubhouse and Gemma says:  
“Everyone, go home. Jax, are you okay to ride?”  
“I have an injured leg. Ronnie’ll take me home. I’m spending the night over there anyways.”  
“Why?”  
“Ronnie thinks I have a concussion. Apparently, she wants someone nearby in case I stop breathing in my sleep.”

I say:  
“I am not a medical professional…Just someone who has been concussed multiple times.”  
“Well, Miss not-a-medical-professional, take care of my boy.”  
“Yes, Momma.”  
I wink at Gemma and take Xander from Juice.  
“You’re coming home, right?”  
“I’ll probably beat you there. I don’t have a baby or a cripple to deal with.”  
“Valid point. Make or order dinner when you get there. Dealer’s choice.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I wrap my arm around Jax’s waist and say:  
“Come on, cripple. Let’s go.”  
“You’re lucky I love you.”  
“Am I? Really?”  
“Oh, shut up.”

By the time we get home, Juice is sitting on the couch in pyjama pants. I hand Xander to him and say:  
“Since you’re already all cozy in your pyjamas, you can feed the munchkin dinner while I shower.”  
“Take Jax in with you. He’s all dusty. There’s a pair of pyjama pants on the bed he can wear.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yup. He can definitely wear the pyjama pants.”  
“I meant about the shower.”  
“Yeah, babe. I’m sure.”  
I pull his face towards me and kiss him.  
“I love you most, you know that, right?”  
“Oh, I know.”  
He takes Xander into the kitchen and I take Jax’s hand and lead him into the master bathroom. 

I close the door behind us and take his hoodie and cut off before pulling his shirt over his head.  
“I see all that free time you had in prison did wonders for your physique too.”  
“Excuse me? I was always this pretty.”  
“Pretty? Yes. This pretty? No.”  
“I want you.”  
“Then take me.”

He pulls my shirt off before quickly undoing my bra and pulling it off of me, then I take off my pants and he takes off his. He picks me up and slides into me in the same motion before gently lowering us to the floor. He rests his forehead on mine and says:  
“Oh, baby. You feel so good.”  
“Jax…I need you to move before I burst.”  
He smirks and starts slowly thrusting into me as he starts kissing me. I run my hands over his hair, but there really isn’t enough to grab since he cut it short, so I gently run my nails over his shoulders and back as I meet him thrust for thrust. He reaches down and starts rubbing my clit as he whispers:  
“I’m not going to last much longer, Veronica. I need you to come for me.”  
“Harder, Jax. Rub harder.”  
He presses harder against my clit and then pinches it and I come gasping his name right before I feel him twitch and release in me. 

I kiss him and say:  
“We should shower now.”  
“Yeah, probably a good plan.”  
We both stand up and shower before putting on our pyjamas and joining Juice in the living room.


	3. Three

Xander is sitting on his blanket on the floor and Jax lies down on the floor next to him, letting Xander climb onto him. I curl up in Juice’s lap and he whispers:  
“How was it?”  
“Good. Not as good as you, but good. Was that designed to encourage me to let you both fuck me at once?”  
“Or take turns. We’re good with either. We both love you. We just want to love you.”  
“Hmm. Full disclosure?”  
“Always.”  
“I’m not on birth control. I was kind of hoping to get knocked up again before you ended up back in prison.”  
“So the next baby could be mine or Jax’s?”  
“I guess…if we continue this.”  
“I’m good with that. I’ll love them like crazy no matter what, and we know Jax is a good dad…I mean, look at him with Xander right now.”

I look at Jax and Xander and laugh. Xander has climbed onto Jax’s face and Jax is blowing raspberries on Xander’s belly causing him to laugh. Suddenly Jax picks Xander up off of his face and says:  
“I think little man needs a change.”  
“I’m fairly certain you are familiar with the proper usage of diapers, Jackson.”  
“He’s not my kid.”  
“Not biologically, but if we’re going to do this…You’d better get used to treating him like yours.”

He stands up and leans over me and Juice.  
“Are we doing this?”  
“I’m not on birth control. I have no intention of going on birth control. I want another baby, sooner rather than later. If that’s a problem for you, we can’t do this. But if not…yeah, we’re doing this.”  
“I have no issues with that.”  
He kisses me and then kisses Juice. Watching them kiss sends jolts of lust to my belly and suddenly I want them both so much I can barely stand it. He pulls away from Juice and looks at me before smirking and saying:  
“Yeah, I thought that would make you hot.”  
“Jesus. Go change the baby and put him down, it’s bedtime.”

Once he’s out of the room, I turn to straddle Juice before kissing him.  
“I want you.”  
“Just me?”  
“No. I want you in my pussy and him in my mouth. Right here on the couch.”  
“Take your clothes off, baby.”

I stand up and take my pyjamas off and he says:  
“Get on your knees with your arms on the armrest.”  
“Bossy.”  
“You love it.”  
I follow his directions and wait while he takes off his pants and puts one knee on the couch behind me. He rubs the head of his cock against my entrance and I push back until he’s fully inside of me.   
“We’re going to go the speed I set, baby. No coming until I say you can. You understand?”  
“Yes.”

He starts slowly and torturously pulling his cock out of me just to slide it back in just as slowly. By the time Jax comes back out of Xander’s room, my fluids are dripping down my legs and I’m shaking. Juice says:  
“She wants you to fuck her mouth. I haven’t let her come yet. What do you think? Should I?”  
“I think you should wait until my cock is in her throat so I can feel her scream.”  
“Good plan.”  
I pant:  
“Yes, please.”

Jax takes his pants off and lines himself up with my open mouth, sliding into me as Juice slides out. They rock me back and forth between them like that, getting faster each time until they are both slamming into me. Juice pinches my clit and says:  
“You can come now, Veronica.”  
I come screaming around Jax’s cock, and both guys lean forward to kiss each other as they release in me. I swallow and lick Jax’s cock off before pulling my mouth away, then I pull off of Juice’s cock. I rise up on my knees and kiss Juice and then Jax. 

I sink down onto the couch and say:  
“I hate to be demanding after a showing like that, but what’s for dinner? I’m starving.”  
Both the guys laugh and say:  
“You’re always starving, Veronica.”  
“Mocking me doesn’t answer the question.”  
Juice says:  
“I ordered pizza, baby. Should be here soon. We should probably put clothes on.”  
“Yeah…Probably.”

I get up and grab my pyjamas before heading into the bathroom. I clean myself up and put my pyjamas on. When I get back to the living room, Jax is wiping down the couch and Juice is cleaning up Xander’s toys and blanket. I watch them and grin. Jax looks at me and says:  
“What are you grinning about darlin’?”  
“Just how very domestic the two of you are.”

The pizza arrives then and Juice grabs it and pays the delivery driver. We sit on the couch to eat and I shake my head at him.  
“What, Veronica?”  
“You ordered yourself a salad?”  
“Pizza is not good for you.”  
“There’s salad stuff in the fridge.”  
“Really? I just assumed my darling wife didn’t eat a single vegetable while I was gone.”  
“Xander is your child, and apparently he only likes healthy food. Basically, all I ate was freaking salads and fruit…Oh and steak, but that’s because Mommy likes meat.”  
They both laugh and say:  
“We know.”  
“Ha ha ha. You two are so funny.”

I eat a couple of pieces of pizza and kiss them both before saying:  
“I’m going to bed. You guys should take this opportunity to discuss the cartel issue…You know since no-one is currently shooting at you, or hitting you.”

I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth and wash my face before climbing into bed. 

When I wake up in the morning, Jax is still in bed with me, curled around me, and I can hear Juice and Xander in the living room. I turn and kiss Jax before getting out of bed and joining Juice in the living room with Xander.  
“You guys need to go to work soon, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’ll take him. Go get ready.”

He hands Xander to me and kisses me before standing up. As I’m sitting and playing with Xander, I can hear Juice and Jax talking quietly in the bedroom.

A little while later, they both walk out dressed to go do whatever club business they have.  
“We really need to sit down at some point and discuss the level of transparency we have. I don’t like living in the dark. You need to tell me what’s going on.”  
They look at each other and Jax says:  
“We’ll tell you everything tonight, love.”  
“Alright.”  
They both kiss me and leave the house.


	4. Four

Later that evening, I’m in the kitchen cooking dinner when Juice walks in. I look at his face and say:  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Roosevelt pulled me in today. Told me he knew my dad was black. Implied that the club would kick me out if they knew.”  
“But that’s just your created identity. Neither of your actual parents is black. Why are you worried?”  
“Because I think he’s going to try to get me to rat.”  
“Tell him to go fuck himself. He has nothing on you, babe.”  
“Can you talk to him? Tell him who I really am. I can’t just tell the sheriff to go fuck himself.”  
“Yeah. Okay. I can do that. Are you sure? It blows up your ability to ever go back to being Norris. That name will forever be tied to this one.”  
“I’m sure you have alternate identities set up for me.”  
“Of course I do. I’ll talk to him tomorrow morning.”  
“Can you talk to him tonight?”  
“Yeah. I’ll go over there now. Finish making dinner. I’ll be back in a bit.”

I go into the bedroom and get my yearbooks from high school, along with my box of Angelica mementos and my photo album full of memories of Juice and me. I dial Eli’s number and wait for him to answer.  
“Veronica.”  
“You threatened my husband today.”  
“It wasn’t a threat. It was an acknowledgement.”  
“There’s something you should know. Can I come to see you?”  
“Yeah. I’m at home.”  
“Great. I’ll be right there.”

I head out of the house, passing Jax on his way in.  
“Where are you going?”  
“To see Roosevelt. I’ll be back in a bit. Juice and Xander are in the kitchen.”  
“What’s the plan here, baby?”  
“Talk to Juice. I’m just doing what he wants.”  
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you when you get home then.”  
I step closer to him and run my finger down his chest.  
“Maybe you should get some of your things and bring them over…You know, so you have clean clothes here instead of having to go home to get dressed.”  
“Are you inviting me to move in?”  
“It would make fucking easier.”  
“You guys should move in with me. My house is bigger.”  
“Talk to Juice. I’m just the old lady.”  
“Yeah, right.”  
I kiss him and walk away.

When I get to Eli’s, Rita opens the door and says:  
“Come on in, sweetheart.”  
She leads me to the living room, then leaves me alone with Eli. I sit next to him on the couch and say:  
“Juice is not actually Juan Carlos Ortiz. That identity was created for him by the man who is now my boss. He was born Norris Clayton in Neptune, California.”  
“What?”  
“I’ve known him since we were five. We started dating when we were sixteen. I got pregnant at seventeen. We broke up before I found out I was pregnant. He went to Japan on a trip his parents sent him on. He never came home. When I was twenty-one I ran into him in a club in Oakland. He was going by Juice at that point. Here…”

I hand him the photo album and he flips through it.   
“Jesus. Why didn’t he tell me this?”  
“He thought you’d take it better from me. We were trying to keep his actual identity separated from the one with the lengthy criminal record.”

I point to a picture and say:  
“Those are his parents. As you can see, neither of them is black. Whoever gave you this information to use against Juice didn’t dig deep enough. They don’t have anything on him.”  
“Can I borrow these things?”  
“Not the box, but the yearbooks and photo album, yeah.”  
“The box is?”  
“Open it and look.”

He opens the box, pulls out Angelica’s birth and death certificates and says:  
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”  
“Who gave you the information about Juice?”  
“The AUSA that’s in town.”  
“Shit. It’s a RICO investigation, isn’t it? Don’t worry about it, I know you signed a non-disclosure agreement.”  
“Veronica, you did not hear this from me. They want to use Juice for present crimes.”  
“He has FBI agents in town?”  
“A couple.”  
“Any of them named D’Amato?”  
“Yeah, actually. Younger guy, dark hair.”  
“Crap.”  
“How do you know him?”  
“He’s my ex.”  
“Oh, fun.”  
“He’s fucking awful.”  
“He seemed like a nice enough guy.”  
“I was raped when I was a teenager…I’m telling you this to explain why Leo is so awful. He liked to act out rape fantasies. It’s the only way he could get off. And it wasn’t just pretending. He always did it against my will. Our whole relationship involved me sobbing through sex. He’s not a good guy, he’s just good at acting like he is.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“I need to go home and talk to Jax and Juice. Feel free to break the AUSA’s heart by letting him know he has nothing on Juice.”  
“Can you get your boss to call me?”  
“I’ll talk to him and let you know.”  
“Thanks, love.”  
I stand up, picking up the box of mementos before leaving the house. 

When I get home, the guys are sitting on the couch eating dinner.   
“Jax, call Clay. He needs to hear what I have to say. Get him to come over.”  
“What did you learn?”  
“I’ll tell you all together. I need to call Clarence first.”

I step out of the room and dial Clarence’s number.  
“Hey, V.”  
“Hey, do you have any contacts that can kill a RICO investigation?”  
“Yes, but so does the club.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“The two cartel contacts, Romeo and Luis, are CIA. The CIA needs the Sons intact and active.”  
“Jesus. Okay. Thanks. Can you come to Charming to talk to the sheriff? He needs to hear confirmation from you that Juice is really Norris.”  
“And Juice is okay with this?”  
“Juice is the one who told me to talk to the sheriff.”  
“Okay. I can be there tomorrow around lunchtime.”  
“Thanks, CW.”  
I hang up and walk back out to the living room. Jax looks at me and says:  
“Clay is not happy about being summoned.”  
“That’s nice. He’s going to want to hear this.”  
“Get some dinner, babe.”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“You have to eat.”  
“I’m not hungry.”

Juice says:  
“You’re always hungry.”  
“Well, I’m not right now.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Leo is in town.”  
“Crap. Are you okay, baby?”  
“Yeah. Eli warned me. I just need to avoid him. Should be easy in this town with 22 people in it, right?”

Jax says:  
“Who is Leo?”  
“My ex.”  
“All of the exes I’ve met have been wonderful.”  
“Leo is not.”  
“Is he the ex you thought about calling that first night?”  
“Yeah. It would have been unpleasant if I had, so I’m still very happy that Weevil called when he did.”  
“I would have taken you home.”  
“I didn’t know you."


	5. Five

Before he can say anything, Clay walks in the door.  
“Hi, Clay. Sorry for summoning you.”  
“It’s fine, baby. Jax said you learned something important.”  
“A couple of things now, actually. Sit down, I’ll fill you in.”  
He sits down on the couch next to Jax and I sit on the coffee table.

I take a deep breath and say:  
“There’s an AUSA in town. He’s heading a RICO investigation on the club. He wanted to use Juice as his tie to present crimes, but the leverage they wanted to use is horseshit.”  
“What was the leverage?”  
“The Juan Carlos identity has a black daddy. I had to inform the friendly sheriff that he’s actually Norris Clayton of Neptune, California. That threw a wrench in their plans, but I’m sure the AUSA has something else up his sleeve.”  
“Who were they going to use for past crimes?”  
“Eli didn’t say, but if I had to guess? Otto.”  
“Otto wouldn’t rat.”  
“Really? So if the AUSA went to Otto and told him that Luann had Bobby’s semen inside of her when she died, which she would have considering they were fucking, and that in 90% of cases of murdered women the killer is the guy she was screwing, you don’t think Otto would rat? Turn on Bobby? Especially since we know Georgie killed her, but the club has done shit about it. It would be easy to convince Otto that Bobby killed Luann and the club is protecting him.”  
“Shit. Bobby was fucking her?”  
“Yeah. Since the day you had him take over the books.”  
“Jesus Christ. What else did you learn?”  
“I called Clarence to see if he had a contact that can kill the RICO investigation. He does, but apparently, you do too.”  
“We do?”  
“Romeo and Luis are CIA.”  
“They’re what?!”  
“The CIA is behind the Galindo Cartel. The CIA needs this deal to go through, so they need the Sons intact and active. Get them to kill RICO. The problem with that is it ties the club to the cartel for possibly longer than the club would like, but I’ll leave that to you guys to discuss.”  
“Your friendship with the sheriff is definitely useful, baby.”  
“Yeah, well…we knew it would be. That’s why I was ordered to get close to him. Hey…if getting out from under RICO involves the killing of any FBI agents, my piece of shit ex is in town…I volunteer him as tribute.”  
“What did he do that deserves death?”  
“He liked to fulfill his rape fantasies…with his girlfriend, the rape survivor…against her will. It got so bad towards the end that Marcus threatened to kill him if he came near me again.”

My phone rings as I finish speaking and after seeing who it is, I answer it as I step out of the room.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I need you to come to get Abel.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“His aggression is getting worse, he’s self-harming…He doesn’t want to be here, Ronnie. He wants Jax, Gemma, you. I flat out asked him if he wanted to be with me or Daddy and he said Daddy.”  
“Does he understand that if I come to get him he can’t go back to you?”  
“Yeah. Please, Ronnie.”  
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll leave now.”  
I hang up and walk back into the living room.  
“You guys are leaving in the morning for the ‘bike show’ right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Shit.”

I dial Rita’s number and wait for her to answer.  
“Hey, Veronica.”  
“Hey, Rita. Can you watch Xander for a day? I have to make a short trip, and the guys have a bike show they’re leaving for in the morning.”  
“A day?”  
“Well…From now until tomorrow evening, maybe the next morning. I have to go get Abel.”  
“Of course I can take Xander. I’ll come over now and pick him up.”  
“Thank you. You’re the best.”  
I hang up and Jax says:  
“Babe? You’re picking Abel up?”  
“Yeah. He’s apparently having a hard time. He wants to live with you.”  
“Us. He wants to live with us. Are you okay with that? Suddenly being responsible for a two-and-a-half-year-old?”  
“I love Abel. It’s fine. Although, a bigger house might be needed.”

Juice laughs and says:  
“I think a bigger house was already needed, we just hadn’t had that conversation yet.”  
“Jax’s house is bigger…but…”  
“But you watched Kip die in that kitchen? But that’s where Wendy OD’d and almost lost Abel?”  
“Yeah.”  
“We’ll figure things out when we get back from the run. Okay, babe?”  
“Yeah. I have to get Xander’s things together.”

I leave the living room and walk into Xander’s room, putting necessities in a bag before grabbing his favourite blanket and teddy bear. Before I can leave the room, Jax is walking in and closing the door behind him.  
“Take a minute and talk to me.”  
“For the past few months, Abel has been having issues with aggression. He’s been hurting Thomas, hitting Tara, he bit Eric a few weeks ago. He’s picking fights at daycare, telling his teachers to fuck off. But Tara says it’s getting worse and now he’s started self-harming…that’s all she said, I don’t know how he’s hurting himself, I will find out when I get there I guess. He wants you. Tara finally broke down and asked him who he wanted to live with. He said Daddy. She explained that if he comes to stay with you that he can’t come back to her. He wants you.”  
“You didn’t tell me he was acting out.”  
“Because I thought it was normal terrible twos type stuff. I thought he’d stop. I didn’t want to worry you over nothing.”  
“So you’re flying out of the country and you’ll be back tomorrow night?”  
“Did I say they were out of the country?”  
“They’re still in the US? You said her boyfriend worked at the Hague.”  
“I said he does a lot of work at the Hague, not that he works there full time.”  
“Jesus. So they’re within driving distance?”  
“No. I have to fly. It’s just a shorter hop than you thought it would be. Speaking of which, I need to call Duncan.”

I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Duncan’s number.  
“Hey, Ronnie.”  
“Hey. Can I borrow the jet tonight?”  
“To go where?”  
“I have to pick Abel up from Tara.”  
“I can’t lend you the jet, but I can lend you one of the long-distance choppers.”  
“We’d have to stop to refuel multiple times.”  
“Yeah…like, four? But it’ll get you right into downtown. If Tara brings Abel to the UN building you could land on their helipad.”  
“You could wrangle that? The UN is pretty picky about who lands on their roof.”  
“I can wrangle it. You want the chopper or not?”  
“I want, I want. Where do I meet it?”  
“St. Thomas. I’ll make it easy on you.”  
“You’re the best. Thanks, DK.”

I hang up and look at Jax.  
“What?”  
“I want to come with you.”  
“You have the run. You need to focus on work right now. This first run is important. I will take care of our kids, Jax. That’s my job as an old lady. I will go pick up Abel and bring him home. You need to trust that I can take care of him.”  
“I do…I trust it…I trust you. I know how much you were willing to sacrifice to protect him.”  
“I love him.”  
“I know.”  
“I need to finish getting Xander’s stuff together for Rita.”  
“One second.”

He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me, pressing his forehead against mine before saying:  
“Are you my old lady?”  
“No. I’m just the married woman you’re fucking.”  
“I prefer the term old lady.”  
“That’s nice. I’m Juice’s. I can’t be old lady to both of you.”  
“Why not? Who made that rule?”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“I’ll let you and Juice figure out this stuff. I need to go.”  
“You don’t care?”  
“Jax…No. I don’t care what my title is. I mean, it makes sense to figure it out since the club is going to have questions, but I don’t care. I love you. That’s all that matters to me.”  
“I love you.”  
“You do know though, that if you fuck someone who isn’t me or Juice, this is done, right?”  
“Yeah…I know.”  
“Good.”  
I kiss him and step out of his arms, leaving the room to collect Xander’s things from the kitchen.

I can hear Rita talking to Juice and Clay in the living room, so once I’m done collecting things I head in there.   
“Thank you for this, Rita.”  
“No problem. You know how much I love spending time with Xander.”

I hand her the two bags I’ve assembled and say:  
“Clothes, diapers, favourite blanket, teddy bear, frozen milk, bottle, baby food, bibs, spoon…etc”  
“Thanks, love.”

Juice says:  
“I’ll grab the car seat out of the car.”  
“No need. Rita has a car seat in her car, just like Gemma does.”  
“Well then, I’ll carry munchkin out.”  
“That you can do.”  
He picks Xander up from his spot on the couch and starts to walk towards the door.   
“Uh, excuse me. I need to kiss Xander before I have to fly across the damn country in a helicopter.”  
He laughs at me and walks over to me. I lean over Xander and kiss his forehead and cheeks. I whisper:  
“Mommy loves you. Be good for Aunty Rita.”

As Juice carries him out, I start crying. Jax wraps his arms around me and says:  
“What’s wrong, babe?”  
“I’ve never been away from him overnight.”  
“I’m sorry, love.”  
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I need to go. The helicopter will be waiting for me.”  
I kiss him and say:  
“Be careful on the run. Don’t do anything stupid.”  
“Who do you think you are talking to?”  
“Jax…I love you, but…”  
“Oh, shut up.”  
“Stay alive.”  
“Always.”

When Juice walks back in, I step out of Jax’s arms and into his. I kiss him and say:  
“Stay alive. Come home to me.”  
“I will. Call me when you get where you are going and again when you get home. I hate that you’re flying all that way in a helicopter.”  
“It’s a Kane Software helicopter…it’s one of the fanciest models around. I’ll be fine.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
I kiss him and Jax again and then walk out of the house.


	6. Six

When I get to St. Thomas, I walk out to the helipad and find the helicopter waiting for me. The pilot is leaning against it looking at his phone when I walk up.  
“I’m sorry. I had to wait for my sitter to arrive.”  
He puts his phone away and stands up straight before saying:  
“No problem, ma’am.”  
“Please, call me Veronica. I can’t handle being called ma’am all the way across the country.”  
“Fair. I’m Alex.”  
I grin and say:  
“My son is Alexander too. But we call him Xander.”  
“How old is he?”  
“Seven months.”

We get into the helicopter and Alex hands me a headset. When I put it on, I hear his voice in my ears saying:  
“Do you need help with the seatbelt?”  
I struggle with the seatbelt for a moment and then say:  
“Yes. Please.”  
He leans over and does up my seatbelt, his face inches from mine as he does. When he sits back in his seat, he says:  
“Why do you smell like marshmallows with hints of two different colognes?”  
“My body wash smells like marshmallows. The colognes are from my husband and boyfriend.”

As he starts the helicopter and we take off, he says:  
“I’m sorry…Husband and boyfriend?”  
“What part of that is unclear?”  
“Aren’t you married to a dude from SAMCRO? I’m sure that’s what Duncan said.”  
“I am.”  
“And yet, you have a boyfriend he hasn’t killed?”  
“The boyfriend is the vice-president of SAMCRO, and it was their idea, not mine.”  
“So you didn’t get a say?”  
“Oh, no…I got a say. They asked for what they wanted…Hell, they begged. I agreed though.”  
“So why the sudden trip to New York?”  
“Boyfriend’s son is having issues living with his mother. She asked me to come to get him.”  
“What kind of issues?”  
“Aggressive behaviour. He’s only 2.5. He has poor impulse control.”  
“So he’ll fit right in with his dad, the murdering biker?”  
“Jax doesn’t have impulse control issues. Everything he does, he does for a reason. Every decision gets thought through. You’d be hard-pressed to find a SAMCRO member with impulse issues.”  
“You’re just saying that because you’re sleeping with him.”  
“No. I’m saying that because I’ve known him for years. He is caring and protective. Does he do bad things sometimes? Yeah. But only when necessary.”  
“They kill people!”  
“You have evidence of that?”  
“No.”  
“Then how can you say it with such conviction?”

He doesn’t respond, so I spend the next bit looking out the window. We stop four times for fuel before reaching New York, and during our last stop, I call Tara.  
“Hey, V.”  
“Hey. We’re about to fly into New York. We’re landing at the UN and I would love to not have to stay in New York longer than is necessary.”  
“We’ll be there to meet you. How long?”  
“The pilot says 45 minutes.”  
“Alright. See you there.”

When we land in New York Tara, Eric, and the boys are waiting for us. I wait for Alex to turn off the engines, then get out and run over to them, wrapping Tara in a hug.  
“God, I missed you.”  
“I missed you…so much, V.”  
“I have a confession to make, and I know it won’t matter to you, but I need to say it because you are one of my best friends and I love you.”  
“You’re sleeping with Jax, aren’t you?”  
“He has…joined us in our marital bed, yeah.”  
“Oh. You and Juice are both sleeping with him.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I did not expect that.”  
“Yeah, neither did I. I will say though, the two of them kissing might be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”  
“Pictures? Video? Please? Email me?”  
“I will. Abel and I should go. It’s a long flight home.”  
“Yeah. Of course.”

She kneels down and hugs Abel, whispering:  
“Be so good for Ronnie, okay?”  
“Okay, Mommy.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
Abel steps out of her arms and reaches for me, so I pick him up and hold him on my hip. He says:  
“Where’s Daddy?”  
“He had to work, but he should be home just after we get there, okay?”  
“Okay.”  
I take Abel’s bag from Eric and lean over to kiss Tara before saying:  
“I love you. He’s going to be fine. I will protect him.”  
“I love you. And you always have.”

Abel and I get into the helicopter and I get him settled in a chair in the back with a tv.   
“You okay, sweetheart?”  
“Yes, Ronnie.”  
The flight home is uneventful, Abel falls asleep after our second stop. Once he’s sleeping, Alex says:  
“He is a cute kid.”  
“He looks like his dad. Could be his clone.”  
“His mom has dark hair.”  
“His biological mom is blonde. Tara was his stepmom.”  
“How did she end up with custody of him?”  
“When Jax was in prison last, I helped Tara disappear with Abel. When Jax got out he decided that I had done the right thing, that being away from the club was what was best for Abel…Clearly Abel had other plans though, because Jax hasn’t been out long.”

When we land at St. Thomas, I unbuckle Abel and carry him and his bag to my car. I get him buckled into the car seat I have, making a note to buy a new one that’s sized better for him, and take him home. Once we’re home, I change him into pyjamas and tuck him into the twin bed we left set up in the nursery. I go shower and change into pyjamas, then call Rita.  
“Are you home, sweetheart?”  
“Yeah. We just got here. Can you bring Xander home?”  
“How about I keep him tonight and you get some sleep? I’ll bring him home in the morning.”  
“Okay. Thanks, Rita.”

I go to bed, leaving the bedroom door open. When I wake up, not only is Abel in my bed, curled into my side, but Jax and Juice are back too. Jax is awake, so I whisper:  
“When did you get home?”  
“We just did. Go back to sleep, baby.”  
“No. I’ve been asleep long enough.”  
I climb over Juice, gently kissing his cheek as I do, and get out of bed. I collect clothes and head into the bathroom to shower and get dressed. 

As I’m stepping into the shower, Jax walks into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He takes off his pyjama pants and steps into the shower with me.  
“You should sleep, babe. I’m sure you guys have stuff you have to do today.”  
“We never filled you in on everything.”  
“You will. I’m okay.”  
“He was all curled up with you when we got home. I tried to take him back to the nursery, but he was clinging on to you and whimpering your name. Why does my kid love you so much?”  
“That first month you guys were inside, before Tara left…I was basically living there. Neither of us wanted to sleep alone, so we didn’t. Abel got…attached.”  
“And then Tara took him away from you.”  
“Yeah.”  
“How many nights did you cry yourself to sleep after they left?”  
“I was in the hospital and then Costa Rica…I may have cried myself to sleep a few times while I was away.”  
“Can we get Gemma to watch the boys today? We need to deal with Georgie, which involves seeing Lyla…I know she’d like to see you.”  
“You want me to tag along on club business?”

He smirks at me and says:  
“Yeah. I do. Is that a problem?”  
“No. Just strange.”  
“Amp up the sexy, babe.”  
“You want to use me as a distraction for Georgie…Lyla and I are bait to get him where you want him. God…you…ugh.”  
“Did I render you speechless?”  
“No. Just irritated. Get out of my shower.”  
“Veronica.”  
“No. Just get out, Jax. Please.”  
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”


	7. Seven

I get out of the shower and quickly dry off before getting dressed.  
“I have to go out for a bit. Call Gemma to come to get Abel. I’ll call Rita and get her to take Xander to TM. I’ll pick the boys up there later.”  
“Where are you going?”  
“Somewhere I’m Veronica and not just a piece of meat to be dangled in front of a fucking murderer.”  
“I would never let him touch you.”  
“You guys were supposed to protect Luann too…How’d that go?”  
“That’s not fair.”  
I shrug and walk out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I grab my shoes and purse before walking out of the house. I’m reaching for the door of the car when Jax comes running out of the house and presses his hand against it so I can’t open it.  
“Jax…Not right now. Just…let me go.”  
“No.”  
“Why?”  
“I’m afraid you won’t come home.”  
“If I was planning on not coming home, I’d be taking my kids with me.”

His shoulders visibly relax as he processes what I just said.  
“Your kids? Kids?”  
“I love Abel, I always have. I don’t know why you’re so surprised by this.”  
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
“Yeah, you said that. Can I go now, please?”  
“Veronica.”  
“Stop saying my name like that. You are not my husband, or my father, or my boss. You are the guy that for some reason has been given permission to fuck me. You do not get to tell me what I can and can’t do, and you don’t get to sound so fucking disappointed when I don’t listen!”

I shove at him to get him away from the car, and it works enough that I can open the door. As I’m about to get in, he slams it shut again, but my hand is already inside the car. I scream when the door slams on my wrist and I drop to my knees when the pressure on the door is released and I can get my arm out.  
“Veronica…I’m sorry. It was an accident. I didn’t mean to…”  
“Get Juice.”  
“I’ll take you to the hospital.”  
“Get Juice.”  
“Veronica, I’m right here. I’ll take you.”  
“I want Juice! Not you!”

He goes into the house and I stay kneeling on the ground, cradling my arm and crying until Juice comes out.  
“Oh, baby. Come on, let’s get you in the car.”

When we get to the hospital I get an X-ray and the doctor says:  
“You have multiple breaks, but they should all heal with a cast. No surgery required.”  
“Thanks.”  
“I’ll get you some pain medication and we’ll get that cast done.”  
“Okay.”

After the doctor leaves the room I say:  
“Go to work, babe. I’m fine.”  
“How the hell did that even happen?”  
“He was leaning against the door, stopping me from leaving. I shoved him to get him out of the way and got the door open. He slammed it shut again before he realized my arm was already inside. It was an accident.”  
“Why wouldn’t he let you leave?”  
“At first, he was afraid I wouldn’t come home. But I told him that if I were actually leaving I would be taking the kids. After that…I don’t know. My wrist really hurts.”  
“I know, love.”  
“Go to work. You have that meeting with the Mayans this morning.”  
“Marcus will understand.”  
“Clay won’t. And you can’t tell Marcus.”  
“Why?”  
“Because he’ll kill Jax.”  
“I’m not opposed to that.”  
“Oh, shut up. It was an accident. He would never hurt me on purpose, and you know it. If you thought he would, you never would have let him into our bed.”  
“That’s true. Fine. I will go to work and I won’t tell Marcus.”  
“Good man, husband.”  
“I love you, wife. I’ll call Gemma to pick you up.”  
“No. Call Gemma to watch the boys. She needs to get Xander from Rita, and Abel from the house. Call Lyla to pick me up. I’ll go to set with her, and get a ride home from there with you or Jax.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay.”

He leaves, and an hour later, my cast is done so I can leave. When I walk out to the waiting room, I find Lyla pacing.  
“Hi, babe.”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Broken wrist. I’ll be fine.”  
“Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?”  
“Nah. I’ll just come to set with you if that’s cool.”  
“Yeah. Let’s go.”

We’ve been at the studio for a few hours when Lyla’s got a break in filming so we’re sitting in her dressing room. She lights a joint and hands it to me before lighting one for herself.  
“Ah…Nature’s pain reliever.”  
“Did you get this from Troy?”  
“Yeah. Why?”  
“He must be buying from a friend of mine, this is his strain. Corny’s weed was always the best.”  
“His name is Corny?”  
“His nickname is, yeah.”  
“That’s a ridiculous name.”  
“Bitch, you are talking to a woman whose husband’s name is Juice. Your father-in-law’s name is Piney. We have a friend named Chibs, and one named Tig. Your husband’s name is Opie. I don’t think we get to judge people’s nicknames as stupid. And If we did, Corny wouldn’t be the worst…I mean…Weevil.”  
“Point made, and accepted.”  
We’re both laughing when the guys walk in. Opie looks at us and says:  
“What’s so funny?”  
“We’re talking about people with stupid nicknames. Know anyone that might describe?”  
“Ouch, babe.”  
“We declared Weevil the winner of the stupid nickname Olympics.”  
“Accurate.”  
I wave my hand at them and take the end of Lyla’s joint as I finish mine.  
“Handle whatever business you need to handle. I’ll just be over here, managing my pain.”  
“Pain?”  
I hold my broken wrist up.  
“Multiple broken bones.”  
“How the fuck did that happen?”  
“It was an accident. I’m fine.”  
“Why don’t I believe you?”  
“Because you think everyone is like you and is willing to hurt a person three times smaller than them?”  
He just looks at me and I sigh and say:  
“I’m going for a walk.”

I walk through the group of them and out of the studio. When I’m outside finishing my joint, Eli drives up. He parks in front of me and gets out of the car. He points at my wrist and says:  
“I knew it. I knew something was wrong. I knew it as soon as Gemma picked Xander up. You were so upset at being separated from him. I knew if there wasn’t anything wrong, you would have been at the house first thing this morning.”  
“I was trying to come to get him this morning…Spend some time in the garden with Rita. But I had an accident. Broke multiple bones in my wrist.”  
“Who hurt you?”  
“I just said it was an accident.”  
“I don’t believe you. I told you if one of them hurt you again you wouldn’t get a say in whether or not we press charges.”  
“It was an accident, Eli. He didn’t realize my arm was inside the car when he slammed the door. I’m fine. I didn’t even need surgery this time.”  
“Who. Was. It?”  
“Ah, the dramatic pausing. It won’t work on me sheriff. I’ve been perfecting my defences against that very voice my whole life.”  
“Was it Opie again?”  
“No.”  
“Juice?”  
“Juice would never hurt me.”  
“Jax? It was Jax, wasn’t it?”  
“It was an accident.”  
“Yeah, I got that.”

He shakes his head and sighs before saying:  
“Fine. We won’t press charges. Since you insist it was an accident, they wouldn’t stick anyways. I came to warn you, the AUSA turned a member.”  
“Who?”  
“Miles. He’s supposed to be getting a sample of the coke for the AUSA…tonight.”  
“Why are you telling me this?”  
“Because I’m fond of you, and so, apparently, I help the goddamn club now.”  
“Thank you. Honestly, Eli. Thank you.”  
“I just got that kid killed, didn’t I?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Yes, you do.”  
I look at him sadly and step forward to kiss his cheek.  
“Don’t think about it, okay? You just saved the people I love from being massacred by the cartel. Don’t think about Miles.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

I turn around and run back into the studio. I grab Jax’s arm and drag him away from the group.  
“Babe, I’m working.”  
“Really? No shit. You’re gonna wanna hear this.”  
“What?”  
“The AUSA turned Miles. Eli doesn’t know how, but Miles is supposed to be getting a sample of the coke…tonight.”  
“Jesus. He’s sure?”  
“Yeah. He was pretty conflicted about telling me.”  
“Why did he?”  
“His words? He’s fond of me, so, apparently, he helps the goddamn club now.”  
“You are my favourite person in the whole goddamn world, you know that?”  
“You can prove it, repeatedly, over the next seven weeks that I have the wrist of my fucking dominant hand in a fucking cast. You, my love, are now my indentured servant.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
“None of us can go to the warehouse. Eli will be watching.”  
“Yeah. I’ll call Clay.”

He walks off and I walk towards the group.  
“Where’s Ope?”  
Juice says:  
“In the dressing room.”  
“Thanks.”


	8. Eight

When I open the dressing room door, I find Opie sitting in Lyla’s chair, upset. I walk in and close and lock the door behind me. I walk over to him and crouch down in front of him, putting my non-casted hand on his face.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Me being upset is not your fault. I understood why you said what you said.”  
“Then what’s wrong, love?”  
“She’s on birth control and she’s got plan B. The whole time I’ve been trying to have another kid, she’s been killing it off.”  
“Ope…Why do you want another kid?”  
“I’m not sure I do…It just felt like what we needed. To get her away from this.”  
“Ope, she has done this the whole time you’ve known her. She likes this. Did you even talk to her about her quitting?”  
“No…I just assumed she would. You did, for Juice.”  
“Oh, baby…I hated every second of doing porn. I had to put up mental barriers because it felt like I was being raped over and over again. Like I was letting people rape me. I hate that there are videos and pictures of me. I hate that all the club members have seen me having sex. I hate that I am apparently my stepfather’s favourite porn star. I hate the fact that one day my sons are going to know what Mommy used to do for work. I quit because I hated it. Not because he wanted me to. Lyla loves this. She’s good at it, and she enjoys it. She doesn’t want to be taken care of, Ope. I think the problem here is that you found this amazing girl who wants to be loved for who she is, and you keep trying to turn her into Donna and then you get pissed off at her when she doesn’t live up to Donna’s standards. Donna was amazing. She was an amazing wife and the best mother I ever met. Lyla tries her hardest, but she’s not Donna. You can’t turn her into Donna.”

He starts crying and says:  
“I miss her. I miss Donna so much.”  
“I know. I do too.”

I run my fingers through his beard until I get to his chin, then I pull his face towards mine and kiss him. I moan against his mouth as he deepens the kiss, exploring my mouth with his tongue. He pulls away a little and says:  
“Please, Veronica.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
“Really?”  
“Do you want me to change my mind?”  
“No. Stand up, I’ll help you with your pants.”

I stand up and he undoes my pants, pushing them and my panties down to just below my knees and then says:  
“Lean over the table.”  
“Bossy.”  
“Just fucking do it. How much time do you think we have here?”  
“As much I’d love to acquiesce to your request, I can’t lean on the table, baby. I have a broken wrist.”  
“Right. Damn.”  
“Take my pants all the way off and fuck me against the wall, Ope.”  
“Now who’s bossy?”  
“Shut up.”  
He grins and pushes my pants all the way off before pushing his down. 

He picks me up and slides into me before pressing me against the wall. He rests his forehead on mine and whispers:  
“You feel so good, baby. You have to stay quiet, okay?”  
“Yeah. I know.”

He starts thrusting into me and I gasp against his neck before biting down.  
“Not hard enough to leave marks, V.”  
“You know this isn’t going to be a secret, right? We can’t lie to everyone. And Juice isn’t stupid. He knows what’s happening here.”  
“Yeah, but marks will just rub it in Lyla’s face.”  
“I won’t leave marks.”  
“Good girl.”

He thrusts harder into me and pinches my clit as he bites my neck. I come gasping and I feel him twitch inside me as he follows me over. He kisses me and says:  
“Do we get to do this again?”  
“No, Ope. We both know we shouldn’t have done it this time.”  
“I love you.”  
“And I love you. You are my best friend aside from Weevil. But this…this can’t happen again. Put me down and help me with my pants, okay?”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

He puts me down and helps me put my pants back on and do them up. As he’s pulling his pants back up, I walk over to Lyla’s storage bin and grab the plan B. I swallow one now and put two in my pants pocket before putting the lid back on and putting them back in her drawer.  
“Why? Why take the pill?”  
“Because I can’t risk having your baby, Ope. I am married.”  
“And fucking Jax.”  
“With Juice’s permission and participation. This, Ope? This was cheating. It’s not the same thing.”  
“Yeah…I guess.”

I leave the dressing room and walk out of the studio, starting to cry as I hit the outside air. By the time I’ve reached the side of the building, I’m sobbing and I sink down to the ground and hug my knees to my chest. I hear someone walk towards me and then someone is sitting on the ground next to me and wrapping their arm around my shoulders.   
“It’s okay, my love.”  
“No. It’s not. I cheated on you. I let him…I have never cheated on anyone, ever…and you? You are the love of my life. What the fuck is wrong with me?”  
“Nothing, baby. Nothing.”  
“How can you forgive me for this? I wasn’t even drunk.”  
“I think you’ll find I can forgive you for most things. Look at me.”

I turn to face him and he puts his hand on my cheek.  
“I love you, Veronica Ortiz. More than anything in the entire world. You are the love of my life and I have been madly in love with you since we were sixteen. Baby, this? This was a mistake, and one you’re not going to make again. I know that because you’ll be beating yourself up about it for the next thirty fucking years because that’s how you do.”  
“God, I love you. I’m so sorry.”  
“I know, baby. I love you.”  
He leans in and kisses me before he says:  
“Do we need to go get some plan B?”  
“No. I stole a few of Lyla’s.”  
“Good girl. When you see Ope next, he might be a little black and blue. Jax was whaling on him last I saw them.”  
“It wasn’t just his fault. I consented. We need to stop Jax.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

We both get up and go back inside. Jax is still punching Opie who is just taking it and not fighting back.  
“Jackson! Enough!”  
Jax doesn’t stop so I walk over and stand in front of Opie.  
“Move, Veronica.”  
“No. This wasn’t just him. I consented. I participated. You wanna hit me too?”  
“No. Of course not.”  
“Then stop this. He is your best friend.”  
“He fucked the woman I love!”  
“Jackson…Who is my husband?”  
“Juice.”  
“Is Juice hitting Opie?”  
“No.”  
“So if my HUSBAND isn’t hitting him, do you think you have the right to?”  
“Fine. It’s time for you to go home.”  
“I agree, but I can’t drive.”  
“I’ll take you.”  
“Don’t you have work stuff?”  
“I will take you home and then go deal with the work stuff. Let’s go.”

I walk back over to Juice and kiss him before saying:  
“I guess I’m going home. Be safe, okay?”  
“Always. I’ll be home later.”

I walk out of the studio and wait next to Jax’s bike for him. When he comes over to me, he says:  
“Veronica?”  
“Yeah?”  
“It wasn’t against your will, right?”  
“I consented. He needed it, so I let him take what he needed.”  
“That doesn’t sound like you were as active a participant as you usually are.”  
“I may have been slightly less than emotionally attached. It doesn’t matter. I told him it was never happening again. Can we go home?”  
“Yeah. Let me put the helmet on you, my cripple girl.”


	9. Nine

When we get home, I expect him to just leave — he has work to do after all — but he doesn’t. He follows me inside and says:  
“You need to shower. I’ll come help you.”  
“I’m fine. I can do it myself.”  
“Will you just let me help you? It’s my fault you’re hurt.”  
“You have business to deal with. I’m a big girl and completely capable of bathing without assistance.”  
“What is with you today? You freaked out this morning about Georgie, you wouldn’t let me take you to the hospital, you got stoned in the middle of the day, you fucked Opie, and now you won’t let me help. This isn’t you.”  
“Um…aside from the whole fucking Opie thing, it’s exactly me. I’m difficult, remember? And the pot was pain relief.”

He reaches out and grabs my purse, digging through it until he pulls out a bottle. He holds it up and says:  
“These are for pain relief! This is what the hospital gave you!”  
“I won’t take those and will be flushing them.”  
“Why won’t you take the pain pills the doctor prescribed?”  
“Because they’re highly addictive, and I am the daughter of an addict. I won’t take them.”  
“That’s what you’re worried about? Becoming Lianne? Sweetheart…You are not Lianne.”  
“You don’t know that.”  
“How can you say that? I know you. I see how you are with the kids, not just ours, but Opie’s and Marcus’s too. I know how carefully you limit yourself with alcohol. You are not Lianne.”  
“I limit myself so much because I am the daughter of an addict! And I’ve got the cheating whore bit down, so…you know, that’s halfway to being Lianne.”  
“Baby…no.”  
“How else would you describe me fucking your best friend?”  
“A mistake…that’s all, babe. It was a mistake.”  
“Why do you consider me fucking him a mistake, but him fucking me a punchable offence?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Well, figure it out. Go to work, Jax.”  
“No. Not until you let me help you.”  
“Now who’s being difficult?”  
“I learned from the best. Come on, baby. Let me help.”  
“Fine. But I want to take a bath, not a shower.”  
“Okay. Let’s go take a bath.”  
“Um…did I invite you to join me in my bath?”

He sighs and says:  
“Veronica…Please stop being so fucking difficult.”  
I smirk and step closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.  
“I love you, Jackson.”  
“I love you too, my ridiculously difficult old lady.”  
“Didn’t I say I wasn’t your old lady?”  
“Yeah. But then you said that Juice and I should figure it out. And we did. You’re ours. You are our old lady.”  
“Pretty sure that’s not done.”  
“Pretty sure I don’t give a fuck.”  
“God, you’re annoying.”  
“Yup. Let me join you in the bath.”  
“Fine.”

I tighten my arms around his neck and bring him closer to me. I press my forehead against his and whisper:  
“I’m so sorry, Jax.”  
“I know, baby. I know.”  
“I understand if you decide that you don’t want this anymore. I told you we were done if you fucked someone else and then I did.”  
“You must be out of your goddamned mind if you think I’m going anywhere…Veronica, sweetheart, I have been in love with you since that day you showed up at the shop and yelled at me for endangering Weevil. I finally managed to convince you to let me love you. You made a mistake, baby. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”  
“You’ve loved me since then? But…you didn’t say anything. You didn’t start telling me you loved me until after the rape.”  
“You were Juice’s. And then you wanted nothing to do with us. I was trying to respect your wishes.”  
“I’m still Juice’s.”  
“And mine. When did you fall in love with me?”  
“I realized it after the rape. When I told you what happened and you asked if you could hug me, I was bracing myself for panic. To freak out at the feeling of your arms around me. But that’s not what happened. I just felt safe and protected. Like no-one could hurt me as long as I was near you.”  
“All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect you.”  
“I know, Mr. Over-Protective.”

I tilt my head a bit and capture his lips with mine. He reaches down and picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist before he turns and walks towards the bathroom. I stop kissing him as we walk into the bathroom and I say:  
“I’m so insanely in love with you.”  
“And you just ignored it all this time?”  
“I was Juice’s. I didn’t think he’d be okay with this.”  
“You could have asked.”  
“I guess I could have…but I thought it would hurt him. I’m constantly afraid that I’ll do something or say something that will push him further into the darkness. That I’ll lose him.”  
“Are you worried about that with the whole Opie thing?”  
“Fucking terrified.”  
“You aren’t going to lose him, Veronica. He loves you and Xander more than anything.”  
“I know he loves us. But he can’t control his darkness. You can turn yours on and off at will, but he can’t. I’m afraid that if he gets pushed too close to the darkness…by me or club stuff…that we’ll lose him. He’ll just be dark, scary, and violent all the time, or he won’t be able to handle it and he’ll try to kill himself.”

He puts me down and puts his hand on my cheek before he says:  
“What do you mean I can turn my darkness on and off at will? What darkness?”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yeah…Seriously.”  
“Jax…You have two modes. You have your normal self…he’s sweet, protective, loving, funny, warm, and gentle…but then you have what I like to refer to as SAMCRO Jax. He’s cold, calculating, violent, and scary.”  
“Are you scared of me when I’m like that?”  
“No. I’m never scared of you.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I’ve always known, since that first night at the club, that you wouldn’t hurt me.”  
“Even when Opie hit you?”  
“I knew you never intended for me to be hurt. I was just upset and I knew that he was doing your bidding.”  
“You thought I would kill you for helping Tara.”  
“Opie convinced me that you would torture me for her location and then kill me.”  
“When did he do that?”  
“My wedding night. Tara had whispered in my ear before we left the clubhouse that she’d like to ‘take that ride’ once before she left, and he heard her. He came over to your house right after we got there, all scary and intimidating. Ordered us to change out of our dresses…I had never been scared of him before that moment. When I told him I was scared he said I should be because if you had heard what Tara said I would already be dead. He told me that Tara could go, that I could help her, but if she took Abel that he would hunt her down and kill her before you got out of prison.”  
“And you?”  
“He’d make me leave. Make me disappear. Otherwise, you would torture and kill me.”  
“I would never hurt you.”  
“Your best friend told me otherwise.”  
“How did you convince him to step back and let you disappear Tara and Abel?”  
“I brought up Donna’s desire to get Ellie and Kenny out of Charming. He finally agreed to let me help her.”  
“He threatened you on your wedding night?”  
“Yeah. And then after I convinced him to look the other way about Tara, he wanted to fuck me.”  
“But you didn’t?”  
“No. Today was the first and only time.”

He runs his fingers through my hair and gently tugs on the ends.  
“Veronica, I know that you know this, but I need to say it again…I love you. I will never hurt you. I don’t know why Opie told you that I would kill you, but I would never…”  
“I know. Can you help me take off my clothes so I can shower? You need to get back to work.”  
“Trying to get rid of me?”

I laugh and say:  
“Never. I just know that you are expected somewhere…probably the warehouse…probably to deal with Miles.”  
“Miles is being dealt with, but not by me.”  
“Who?”

He just looks at me and doesn’t say anything.  
“No. Don’t make him kill Miles. He’ll never forgive himself.”  
“It’s not my call, baby. Clay ordered it.”  
“Goddamn it. I need you to go. I need you to be with him. During, after…whatever. Don’t leave him alone to stew in his darkness.”  
“Come on. We’ll go together and then come home after.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Let’s go.”


	10. Ten

When we get to the warehouse, Happy says:  
“Why is she here?”  
Jax says:  
“Where is Juice?”  
“Dealing with Miles, as ordered.”  
“Where?”  
Happy points and says:  
“Over there.”

Jax looks at me and says:  
“Make sure it gets done. Don’t let his fear of his darkness put us all in danger.”  
“Yeah. Good thing I was taught to shoot with either hand, huh?”  
“Yeah. Good thing. Go, love.”

I quickly make my way over to where Happy indicated, and as I get close I can hear Miles trying to convince Juice not to kill him. I speak loudly so they can both hear me, and say:  
“Juice…You have to kill him. He’s a rat.”

Miles says:  
“No. I’m not.”  
“Oh? So the sheriff is a liar?”  
“The sheriff told you?”  
“Yes. Juice, honey, either you shoot him or I will.”

I walk closer and put my hand on Juice’s back before whispering:  
“It’s okay, love. I’m right here.”  
“I can’t do it, V.”  
“Give me the gun.”

He hands me his gun and I shoot Miles in the forehead as he opens his mouth to speak again then I hand the gun back to Juice.  
“You did it. Do you understand me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good.”

He puts the gun away and turns to face me before wrapping his arms around me and whispering:  
“When did it become so easy for you to kill someone?”  
“It’s not. But knowing that killing one person is going to protect the people I love makes it a little easier.”  
“I couldn’t do it, babe. You didn’t even blink.”  
“You couldn’t do it because you’re afraid of your darkness. I live my life embracing my darkness. I didn’t for a while, but I realized that leading a ‘normal’ life isn’t for me. I’ve always been most at home in the dark.”  
“Not always.”  
“True. But once someone told me to stop pretending to be something I wasn’t, I realized that who I was was someone who is very comfortable with the darker side of things.”  
“So it’s my fault?”  
“No, babe. It’s not your fault. You just wanted me to be me. This is me.”  
“Well…You kind of scare me.”

I step out of his arms and say:  
“I helped you because it had to be done and I know how scared you are of your darkness. I’m here because I love you. I’m sorry that me being myself is scary to you.”

I turn around and start to walk away and he says:  
“Veronica.”  
“Deal with your shit, Juice. I’ll be at home if you decide I’m not too scary to sleep next to.”

I walk away and once I’m out of sight, I start cutting through the woods towards the main road. When I get to the main road, I turn in the direction of home and start jogging in that direction. It takes a while, but eventually I get to the entrance of Gemma’s neighbourhood, so I turn in and follow the streets until I get to her house. Her car is in the driveway, so I knock on the kitchen door and walk in. She and the boys are in the kitchen and the boys are having a snack. Gemma says:  
“Look! Mommy’s here!”

Abel looks up at me and grins before saying:  
“Hi, Mommy.”  
“Hi, baby…Gemma? A word?”  
Gemma and I walk into the dining room and I quietly say:  
“What have you told Abel to make him start calling me Mommy?”  
“The truth. That he’s not going to see Tara again, and that you and Daddy are in love. He’s going to be living with you, baby. He should be calling you Mommy.”  
“Jesus Christ, Gemma. I figured he’d get to that point on his own when he was ready. This just feels like I’m trying to take Tara’s place. I’m not.”  
“Tara doesn’t have a place. She left Jax and she just gave up on Abel. She forfeited her place.”  
“Ugh…Gemma.”  
“You want me to drive you and your sons home?”  
“Please.”

I walk back into the kitchen and say:  
“Shall we go home, babies?”  
Abel nods and says:  
“Yes, Mommy.”

I look at Xander and he reaches for me, so I unbuckle him from his high chair and pick him up, wincing a little as I try to support as little of his weight as possible with my sore arm. Gemma reaches over and takes him from me, saying:  
“How did you break your arm anyways?”  
“Juice didn’t tell you?”  
“No. What happened?”  
“Jax…accidentally slammed the car door on my wrist.”  
“Was it an accident?”  
“Of course it was. He would never hurt me on purpose.”  
“Okay, baby.”

When we get home, neither of the guys is there. We all go inside and Gemma says:  
“I’ll watch the boys. Go shower. You smell like Opie and stale pussy.”  
“I was at the studio with Lyla earlier.”  
“And you fucked Opie. I heard all about it.”  
“Yeah…Mistakes were made.”

I leave Gemma and the boys in the living room and walk into the bedroom, collecting clean clothes before going into the bathroom. Getting undressed is a serious struggle, and in the shower, I can’t wash my hair because my one arm has to stay outside of the shower stall so my cast doesn’t get wet, but I manage to wash my body and get redressed. 

By the time I’m done and walk back out to the living room, Jax is back and is on the floor playing with Xander. When Gemma sees me, she says:  
“Mommy’s out of the shower. Grandma’s going to go home now.”

She kisses the top of Abel’s head and then stands up and comes over to me. She kisses my cheek and says:  
“You call me if you need help. Don’t push it. We want your wrist to heal properly.”  
“Yes, Momma.”  
She shakes her head at me and walks out of the house. I sit on the couch and Abel curls up next to me and hands me a book.  
“You want a story, sweetheart?”  
“Yes, please, Mommy.”


	11. Eleven

I open the book and start reading one of the stories inside, doing appropriate voices all the way through, which makes Abel laugh, so of course, I amp up the cheesy voices in the second story I read. By the time I start the second story, Jax has moved onto the couch next to Abel, holding Xander in his lap. I’m in the middle of the third story when Juice walks into the house. He walks past us, into the bedroom, so I finish the story I’m reading and then pass the book to Jax, saying:  
“Daddy will read you another story. Okay?”  
“Okay, Mommy.”

I get up and walk into the bedroom, finding Juice sitting at the end of the bed, staring into space.  
“Babe? Are you okay?”  
I push the bedroom door closed behind me before I walk over and kneel on the floor in front of him.  
“Are you really scared of me, Juice?”  
“At that moment? Yeah, I was scared of you. You shot Miles, our friend, in the head without even blinking. You did it without remorse. Like it was nothing.”  
“Really? You think I don’t feel remorse? I loved Miles. He was my friend. He was my friend the whole time you were in prison. He came to a couple of ultrasounds with me! I feel remorse, Juice. I just know it needed to happen. You being chosen to kill the rat right after Clay found out that the AUSA wanted you to rat is not a fucking coincidence! It was a loyalty test and because I killed Miles but you took the credit, you passed. This is the life you chose for us, baby. I’ve just figured out how to survive in it.”

I’m crying now, but he still won’t look at me.  
“Let’s just leave, Veronica. Let’s take Xander and run.”  
“We can’t now. It’s no longer an option.”  
“Why?”  
“Jax and Abel.”  
“You’re choosing him over me?”  
“Have you lost your damn mind? I have never and will never choose anyone other than our kids over you. But you told me it was okay to love him. You pushed me into accepting him into our lives.”  
“I’m going to sleep at the apartment tonight.”  
“You do whatever you need to do. I’m still me, Juice. I’m still the girl you grew up with, the girl you rescued from Shelly’s party…I’m still me, I’ve just adapted to the life you chose. I’m here because of you. Because despite how hard I tried, I can’t live without you. You are the love of my life.”

I stand up and kiss his forehead before starting to walk away. He grabs my hand and pulls me back towards himself, wrapping his arms around me before saying:  
“You aren’t that girl anymore. I need to figure out how to stop expecting you to be.”

He lets go of me and pushes me back slightly so he can stand up before he walks over to the closet and starts packing a bag. I sit at the end of the bed watching him, tears streaming down my face. When he’s done, he walks towards the door and quietly says:  
“I love you, Veronica…I just can’t deal with what I’ve turned you into right now.”

He leaves the room and I hear Jax say:  
“What are you doing, Juice? Why are you doing this to her?”  
“That’s between my wife and me. I explained it to her. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”  
“Juice! You aren’t even going to say goodbye to your sons?”  
“They’re napping. I don’t need to wake them up. I’m sure I’ll see them tomorrow.”  
“Don’t do something you’re going to regret tonight. Don’t do something that will hurt her.”  
“Is that an order from my VP, or a suggestion from our boyfriend?”  
“A suggestion. Babe, you know it will break her if you fuck someone tonight.”  
“Yeah…I know. Take care of her for me. She’s crying in there.”  
“I will always take care of her.”

I hear the front door open and close and then I hear Juice’s bike pull away. Jax walks into the bedroom and says:  
“What can I do, babe?”  
“Can I have a bottle of water? I think I’m going to take a bath. By myself.”  
“Veronica, let me help you.”  
“I don’t need help. I need to be alone to mourn the friend I shot in the head today. Please, Jax.”  
“Yeah…Okay. I’ll get you water.”

He leaves and comes back with a bottle of water. As he hands it to me, I pull him closer to me and kiss him before saying:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”

He leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I stand up, picking up my purse, a notepad, and a pen and walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I get settled in the empty bathtub and dig through my purse for the bottle of oxycodone that the hospital prescribed me. I open the bottle and swallow seven or eight in quick succession before chugging the bottle of water. 

I open the pen and write a note on the first page of the notepad:  
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I love you all so much. Don’t tell my boys that Mommy was a coward. I just…can’t. Let the boys go…get them out of here before this place destroys them like it has their parents. Clarence knows where all the money is. He has access to all the safety deposit boxes. Use it for the boys. I’m sorry. I love you.’

I put the notepad and pen down on the floor and close my eyes while I wait for the pills to take effect.

A while later, I’m barely aware of banging on the door and then the door flying open. Just before everything goes black I feel hands dragging me out of the tub and Jax screaming at me to wake up.


	12. Twelve

————————  
Jax’s perspective  
————————

I drag Veronica out of the bathtub and use her phone to call 9-1-1. Once the ambulance is on its way, I call Mom. I put it on speaker so my hands are free to make sure Veronica has a pulse and is breathing.  
“Hi, baby.”  
“Mom…”  
“Jax? Why are you calling from Ronnie’s phone? What’s wrong?”  
“I need you to come to get the boys, or come stay with the boys.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“She overdosed on pain pills. She tried to kill herself. She has a pulse…barely. She’s breathing…The ambulance is on its way.”  
“I’m on my way. Are you sure it was on purpose?”  
“She wrote a note.”  
“Get rid of it. The top three pages under it too. No-one can know she tried to kill herself.”  
“Mom, she’s not a club member.”  
“No. She’s just the old lady of two members, one of whom is going to be president soon. She cannot be seen as weak. No-one can know.”  
“Okay. I’ll get rid of it.”  
I hang up and tear the top five pages off the notepad, folding them and putting them in my pocket as the paramedics arrive. They push me out of the bathroom and when I walk into the bedroom, I find Eli.  
“What happened, Jax?”  
“She overdosed on the pain pills the hospital gave her this morning.”  
“Was it on purpose?”  
“Am I talking to the sheriff or her friend?”  
“Her friend.”  
“Yes. She was trying to kill herself.”  
“We’re not going public with that?”  
“She’s going to be queen one day. She can’t be seen as weak.”  
“Okay. Is Gemma coming to watch the boys?”  
“Yes.”  
“I’ll stay with them until she gets here. Go with Veronica.”  
“Thank you, Eli.”

When the paramedics wheel Veronica out, I follow them. They won’t let me in the ambulance, so I ride behind them and follow them into the hospital when they arrive. A nurse stops me and says:  
“I’m sorry, Mr. Teller. You aren’t her next of kin or one of her emergency contacts. You can’t go in.”  
“Fine. Call her husband.”

I watch as she dials Juice’s number. She shakes her head as she hangs up.  
“No answer.”  
“Goddamn it. Call her dad or her brother. They should be listed as her emergency contacts. I’ll go find her husband. Please call me if anything changes in her condition. Please. She’s the woman I love. The mother of my kids. Please.”  
“Leave your number for me. I’ll call with any changes.”  
“Thank you.”  
I give her my number and walk out of the hospital. 

I head to the clubhouse to find Juice. When I walk in, he’s sitting at the bar drinking with Piney and Tig.  
“So you just don’t answer your phone now?”  
“Don’t feel like talking to anyone.”  
“That last call you ignored? It was the hospital.”  
He just shrugs, but Piney and Tig both say:  
“Who is in the hospital?”  
“Veronica. She overdosed on pain pills. She’s barely alive. They won’t let me in the room because I’m not her husband.”  
Juice doesn’t react at all, just finishes his drink.

A phone rings over by the pool table and I hear Chibs answer:  
“Speaking.”  
…  
“I’ll be right there.”  
He hangs up and says:  
“That was the hospital. Apparently, Veronica has me listed as an emergency contact. She’s awake…and pissed.”

He walks over to Juice and wraps his hand around Juice’s throat, hauling him up off the barstool and slamming him into the closest wall.  
“What the hell did you do to her?”  
“Told her that she isn’t the girl I fell in love with. That she scares me. That I can’t handle who I turned her into.”  
“Why?”  
“Because…she shot Miles in the head without blinking. Like it was nothing.”  
“Jesus Christ. If she is the one who shot Miles, why did you take credit?”  
“Because she told me to. She thought it was a loyalty test. She tried to encourage me to do it, but I couldn’t. Miles was my friend.”  
“He was her friend. They spent a hell of a lot of time together when you were inside. She made him watch The Big Lebowski on repeat when the rest of us couldn’t put up with her fucking voices anymore. She shot him because she understood that killing him protected the rest of the people she loves. She did what you should have done. You fucking coward.”  
“I know I’m a coward, but she’s not the same girl.”  
“No. She’s grown up. She is a badass old lady now. She has embraced the life you thrust her into. She became strong because she needed to be. Seriously…She was kidnapped and gang-raped, then she allowed that Irish prick to kidnap her instead of Abel, she used herself as bait so we could get Jimmy, she killed Salazar to save Tara, then she helped Tara run with Abel knowing that there was a very large possibility that doing so would cause her death.”

I say:  
“Cameron raped her when he kidnapped her. Told her if she didn’t cooperate and give him the porn star experience that he would come back to Charming and slit Tara’s and Abel’s throats.”  
Juice says:  
“How do you know that? She never told me that.”  
“Did you ask her?”  
“No…I didn’t want to know.”  
“Yeah, well…I asked.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I love her! Because I care about what she’s going through. What she’s living with…The damage she has sustained because of us.”

My phone rings, so I answer it.  
“Hello?”  
“Jax, come to the hospital.”  
“Clarence?”  
“When you guys were inside, Veronica gave me power of attorney. I got your name on the list of people allowed in her room. Come to the hospital.”  
“I’ll be right there.”  
I hang up and say:  
“Chibs. Let him down. He’s not worth it and Veronica needs us.”  
“Yeah, you’re right Jackie Boy. This one isn’t worth it.”

Chibs lets go of Juice and we both walk out of the clubhouse, leaving Juice on the floor with Piney and Tig both glaring at him.

When we walk into the hospital the nurse from earlier tells me which room Veronica is in and Chibs and I head there. 

As I walk in, Veronica says:  
“Why couldn’t you just let me go, Jax?”  
“Because I love you. Please don’t be mad at me for loving you too much to watch you die.”

She starts to cry and says:  
“I just want the pain to stop. That’s all I wanted.”  
“I know, baby.”  
“It’s never going to stop though, is it? As long as I’m here, horrible stuff is going to keep happening and I’m going to keep losing people I love…right?”  
“It will stop, baby, I promise. I just need you to hold on and be a badass bitch for a while longer. Once I’m president everything will get safer, things will calm down. I’ll get us out of guns and off of the ATF’s radar.”  
“I don’t know if I can, Jax.”  
“You can. For us. For me, Juice, and our kids. Ronnie…You can do this.”  
“I scare him. He says I’m not the girl he fell in love with anymore.”

Chibs says:  
“Well, he’s a fucking moron and a coward. I say we strip him of his patch and our beautiful girl here divorces his ass.”  
“Stripping him of his patch will kill him, Chibs.”  
“I don’t care.”  
“Chibs. He loves you. You guys, the club, you are his only family aside from me and Xander. I know he fucked up, but…please…please don’t tell Clay.”  
“It was a loyalty test. He failed to do what he was supposed to do. His wife had to do it for him, then he took credit for her kill. We have to tell the president.”  
“No, you don’t. You can give him a chance to earn it back without including Clay.”  
“That’s not how things are done, sweetheart. I know you want to protect him, but he fucked up and you need to let the club handle it.”  
“Fine. But I’m not divorcing him.”


	13. Thirteen

——————————-  
Veronica’s perspective   
——————————-

Jax and Chibs stay for a couple of hours but then I make them leave. As Jax is standing up to leave he says:  
“I don’t want you to be alone.”  
“I’m fine. Go home to our boys. They’re probably missing us.”  
“Yeah…Okay. You want me to call Juice and tell him to come to see you?”  
“No. He knows where I am. He hasn’t shown up because he doesn’t want to see me.”  
“I’m going to stay. The boys are fine with Mom.”  
“Jackson, go home. I’m okay. I promise. I love you.”  
“I love you. Call me if you need me, okay?”  
“Okay.”

He leaves and I lay back against the pillows and close my eyes. I must fall asleep, because when I wake up, Dad is sitting in the chair next to my bed.  
“Hi, Daddy.”  
“You tried to kill yourself, baby?”  
“I wanted the pain to stop. I just want it all to stop.”  
“You need to sign these papers. Wallace, Jax, and some of the other club members have already moved you and the boys into Jax’s house, I know it’s not ideal because you watched Kip die in that kitchen, but we can worry about that at a later date.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“You are divorcing Juice.”  
“No. I am not.”  
“Yes. You are. Technically, you’re getting the marriage annulled since he married you while using a fake identity.”  
“Jesus Christ, Dad. I am not divorcing him!”  
“Clarence already revoked his access to all of your safehouses and safety deposit boxes.”  
“You realize I’m a grown woman right?”  
“Yeah. But the people who love you got together and decided that this was what was best for you and the boys.”  
“Why? What’s the rationale here, Dad? Why is Juice so awful for me that everyone made this decision without talking to me?”  
“For the second time, he said a single fucking sentence and completely broke my badass action figure daughter. The first time, you didn’t get out of bed except for school and doctor’s appointments for three months. This time, you have two little boys at home and you overdosed on fucking pain pills. If I wasn’t so opposed to murder, I would shoot him in the fucking head. Both for what he said and for not being here! He claims that you are the love of his life, but you tried to kill yourself and he can’t even be bothered to answer the phone when the hospital calls. He hasn’t been home to see the boys either.”  
“Maybe something’s wrong. When was the last time someone saw him?”  
“I don’t know. I’m not really worried about him right now.”  
“Well, I am.”

I pick up my phone and dial Juice’s number.  
“You left me. All of your stuff, the boys’ stuff…it’s all gone.”  
“It wasn’t me. They did it while I was sleeping. I told them I wasn’t divorcing you. Please come to the hospital…Please…I need you, Norris. Please.”  
“I’ll be right there.”  
“I love you. I’m not leaving you.”  
“I love you.”

When I hang up I dial Jax’s number.  
“Are you okay, babe?”  
“Where are you right now?”  
“Chapel.”  
“Full table?”  
“As full as it can get with one member AWOL, yeah.”  
“Put me on speaker, everyone needs to hear this.”  
“Babe…”  
“Put me on speaker, Jackson!”  
“Okay. You’re on speaker.”  
“I’m sure if Gemma had her way my overdose was brushed off as an accident. It wasn’t. I tried to kill myself, and I’m a little pissed that Jax didn’t just let me die. I tried to kill myself because I put a bullet in Miles’s head…Because Juice couldn’t bring himself to kill his brother. I understand that some or all of you feel that is a sign of cowardice and weakness, but it’s not. In the real world, murder is wrong. I understand that Miles was a rat, I understand that because I’m the one who got that information. I understand why Miles had to die for the good of the club. What I don’t understand is why you would even consider pulling Juice’s patch because he wasn’t able to kill his brother. You all talk a big fucking game about brotherhood and family, but when something like this happens, you turn on them. And don’t even try to deny it, because Chibs turned on Juice in an instant. And Juice isn’t AWOL, he’s here. With me, his wife. Who, by the way, will be staying his wife, so stop fucking interfering in my marriage. You made him think I was leaving him. I promised I wouldn’t do that. That I wouldn’t take his kids away from him. Then while I’m in the hospital you all take it upon yourselves to move me and my kids out of our house?! What the fuck?”

I hear Clay clear his throat and then he says:  
“If we pull Juice’s patch, what happens?”  
“He and I take Xander and leave town. I’d prefer to take Abel too in that case, but I won’t push my luck. I already got away with helping his mother disappear with him once.”  
“You’d leave?”  
“Yeah. I’d leave. My place is with my husband. If he’s no longer a member of SAMCRO, then we have no reason to stay in Charming.”  
“What about Jax?”  
“That would be up to Jax. I can’t make decisions for him.”  
“And if he decided to stay?”  
“Then I’d miss him terribly. What do you want me to say here, Clay? I never wanted to be involved with the club. I wanted to be left alone. The only reason I’m here at all is Juice.”

I hang up and look at Dad.   
“Move my stuff back into my house and tear up those fucking papers. I am not divorcing Juice. I am not annulling my marriage to him. I am not leaving him.”  
“Okay. If that’s what you want.”  
“Of course that’s what I want. He’s the love of my life.”  
“Alright. I’ll go do that now.”  
“Thank you, Daddy.”

He leaves and Juice steps into the room.  
“How long were you in the hallway, baby?”  
“Long enough to hear you ream the guys out.”  
“They moved us out without my knowledge. I wouldn’t leave you.”  
“You tried, baby…You almost did.”

I start crying and say:  
“I’m sorry…I just wanted the pain to stop. I killed Miles…”  
“I know, baby…I’m sorry that I doubted that you had remorse about that. I know you loved him.”

I move over in the bed and roll onto my side.  
“Come here, baby. Please?”  
He walks over and climbs onto the bed next to me before he pulls me into his arms.  
“You’ve been drinking.”  
“Yeah…pretty steadily since I left the house. I’m sorry, baby. I was upset.”  
“Did you sleep with anyone?”  
“No. No, baby. I didn’t. I sat at the bar and drank, then Chibs strangled me for a while, then I drank some more. Until I left to go home I was in full view of Tig and Piney the whole time.”

I put my hand on his face and kiss him before saying:  
“Okay. Go to sleep, Juice.”  
“Shouldn’t I go home to the boys?”  
“Jax will be there, Gemma’s there, Dad’s there. The boys are fine. Stay with me. You know I hate hospitals.”  
“Okay, Veronica. I’ll stay.”  
“Good.”

I snuggle into him and rest my head on his chest so I can listen to his heartbeat. I whisper:  
“I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but I’m still that same girl you carried out of Shelly’s party. The same girl who sat on your bed and cried because I lost my virginity to a rapist. The same girl who cried after our first time together because I wished it had actually been my first time. The same girl you fell in love with when we were sixteen. I’m still her. I still need you just as much. I still love you just as much. Actually, I’m pretty sure I love you more now, which I didn’t think was possible. I know that me embracing my darkness is scary. It’s scary for me too. But love, I will keep doing it whenever it’s necessary. I killed Salazar because he would have never left us alone, I killed Miles because it was necessary. It broke my heart to kill Miles, I loved him, he was my friend.”  
“I know, baby. I’m sorry I said otherwise. Sometimes it just feels like I’m losing you. Like, the club is swallowing you up and replacing you with someone I don’t recognize.”  
“You are not losing me. I promise. The only reason I’m here is you. I have embraced the club because they are your family. Because this is where you chose to make your home. I will do whatever it takes to keep you out of your darkness, babe. Even if it means that I have to embrace mine more.”  
“I love you so much, Veronica.”  
“I love you most. I will always love you most.”  
“More than Jax?”  
“Oh, baby…I am insanely in love with Jax, but he is not the love of my life. You are.”  
“I love Jax too, don’t get me wrong…But I’m very happy to hear that.”


	14. Fourteen

My phone rings and I sigh as I answer it on speaker.  
“Hi.”  
“Did you even look at the caller ID?”  
“Did I need to?”  
“I guess not.”  
“What was the result of the vote, Jax?”  
“Juice is still a fully-patched member of SAMCRO and he is not doomed to meet Mr. Mayhem.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Can I stay with you at the hospital tonight?”  
“No. Juice is.”  
“Okay. Do you know when you can come home?”  
“No. They haven’t told me anything. I’m pretty sure they’re only filling Clarence in.”  
“Is there a reason why my house is suddenly devoid of your and our kids’ things?”  
“I told Dad to move our stuff back into our house.”  
“Is there a message here I should be getting?”  
“No, babe. There isn’t. I just can’t live in that house. I watched Kip die in that kitchen. I can’t. I know we need a bigger house, but we’re going to have to buy something…I can’t be in that house.”  
“You were for a month before Tara fled.”  
“No. I was for a night, my wedding night. When Opie came in and threatened us. Then Tara, Abel, and I were at our house for the rest of the month.”  
“Why?”  
“I had a panic attack in the kitchen that next morning. I kept seeing Kip’s body on the floor.”  
“Oh, baby. I’m sorry.”  
“It’s alright. I just can’t live there.”  
“But we’re okay? You aren’t going to decide that you don’t love me anymore, right?”  
“Jackson…we both love you. That isn’t going to change overnight. Where are you right now?”  
“Hospital parking lot.”  
“On your way in, ask the nurse when I can go home.”  
“You said I couldn’t stay.”  
“You can’t. But you can come in for a bit.”  
“Okay.”

I hang up the phone and snuggle closer back into Juice’s chest. He plays with my hair and says:  
“Clearly we need to make him feel loved.”  
“I scared him today. I was barely alive when he found me, but I heard him screaming for me to wake up. I’ve never heard him that scared.”  
“I have.”  
“When?”  
“When he found out that Cameron took you. I was upset…Terrified…But he sounded like someone had ripped his heart out.”  
“So you’ve known since then that he loved me?”  
“I’ve known longer than that, my love.”  
“When did you and he come up with the idea to share me?”  
“When we were inside…After you started talking to him again.”

Jax walks in before I can respond. He smiles when he walks in and says:  
“They say you can go home as soon as the doctor looks at you. He should be here in the next few minutes.”  
“Well, that’s good news. I really hate hospitals. Come here.”

He walks over and leans over us.  
“What, babe?”  
I put my hand on his cheek and sit up a bit before kissing him.  
“I love you. I’m sorry I scared you earlier.”

The doctor walks in and says:  
“All your tests have come back clean, Mrs. Ortiz. You can go home. No more pain pills, alright?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
He leaves the room and I say:  
“Jackson, take me home. Juice, we’ll follow you. Make sure you get home okay. You’ve had way too much to drink.”  
They both say:  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
I stand up and change into my actual clothes and we all walk out of the hospital.

When we get home, Gemma is sitting on the couch.  
“Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”  
“I’m good, Gemma. How are my babies?”  
“Sleeping. We had a fun day out with Uncle Touchy to distract them from Mommy not being here.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Never again, right baby? You need to stay tough. You’re going to be queen someday.”  
“I won’t do it again.”  
“Good. I’m going home, then. I’ll see you all tomorrow. The fundraiser for the gardens.”  
“Okay. Night.”  
“Goodnight, baby.”

Once she’s gone and the door is closed and locked, I say:  
“Let’s go to bed.”  
Jax says:  
“To sleep, or to fuck?”  
“To fuck…definitely to fuck.”  
Juice says:  
“Do you have an idea?”  
“Oh…I do.”  
Jax says:  
“Do you want to share with the class?”  
“I want you to fuck me, and I want Juice to fuck you while you do it.”  
Juice says:  
“I’m on board.”  
Jax scoffs and says:  
“Of course you are. Her suggestion doesn’t involve you taking it up the ass.”  
Juice laughs and says:  
“Come on, Jax. It’s not like you’ve never had a cock in your ass before.”  
“I didn’t really care for it.”  
“Yeah, but this time it’s someone who loves you, and we have proper lube.”  
“Fine. But after a shower, we’re switching places.”  
“Fine by me.”

As we’re walking towards the bedroom, I hear Abel cry:  
“Mommy…I want Mommy.”  
I sigh and say:  
“Get started without me. I’ll join in after I deal with the munchkin.”

I walk into the boys’ room as Jax and Juice walk into our room, pulling at their clothes as they go. I groan softly as I lie down in Abel’s bed next to him, pulling him into my arms.  
“Mommy?”  
“Hi, sweetheart.”  
“You were gone.”  
“I know. But I’m home now. Did you have fun with Grandma and Uncle Touchy today?”  
“Yes. Gramps too.”  
“And Uncle Wallace?”  
“Yeah. He’s funny.”  
“Don’t tell him that. He’ll try to be funny more often.”  
“Night, Mommy.”  
“Goodnight, Abel. I’ll see you in the morning.”  
He closes his eyes and I kiss his forehead before carefully climbing out of his bed. I quickly check on Xander and then leave the room, pulling the door closed behind me.


	15. Fifteen

I walk into our bedroom, closing the door behind me. I lean against the door and lick my lips as I watch them move together on the bed. Jax looks over at me and says:  
“Get your ass over here, now.”  
“I don’t know, babe…I’m enjoying the show. I think I’ll just watch for now.”  
Juice laughs as Jax growls:  
“Veronica.”  
“What? This is like…insanely fucking hot. You can’t blame me for just wanting to watch.”

I step closer to the bed and take my clothes off before propping one foot up on the end of the bed so they can see how wet I am. They both groan as I drag my fingers along my slit and start rubbing my clit. As I’m doing this, I’m focusing most of my attention on Juice’s cock pumping in and out of Jax’s ass and the sounds they are both making. Jax groans at me:  
“Come closer so I can touch you…Better yet, come here so I can bury my face in your pussy.”  
“But I can’t watch then.”  
“Veronica…”  
“How you can sound that annoyed with that large, gorgeous cock inside of you, I don’t know.”  
“Such is life with you.”

I move so I can position my pussy under his face, which involves hanging upside down off the edge of the bed since they are sideways across the bed. He reaches out and holds onto my hips so I don’t fall and starts licking at me before sucking my clit into his mouth. I hear Juice groan:  
“I’m close…get that wife of mine off first.”

I gasp as Jax sucks harder on my clit and starts flicking his tongue over it.  
“More, Jax…please.”  
His fingers tighten on my hips and I know there’s going to be bruises there in the morning, then he drags his teeth over my clit and I scream and buck my hips as I come. He licks me clean and pulls away to say:  
“Good girl.”

They both moan as Juice orgasms and pulls out. Once he’s off of Jax, Jax gets on his knees and pulls me up onto the bed under him. I wrap my legs around him and whimper as he slams into me. He says:  
“Juice, go shower so you can fuck her after me.”  
“Going.”

Jax thrusts into me and says:  
“Baby, tell me what you want.”  
“Hard and fast, Jax.”  
“Works for me, baby.”  
He thrusts into me, hard and fast like I asked, as I drag my nails down his back, bite his neck, and match him thrust for thrust. As he presses further into me, I grab one of his hands and put it on my throat.  
“Please, Jax.”  
He growls and squeezes my throat as he thrusts harder. I gasp as I match his thrusts and say:  
“Harder…You can squeeze harder.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Please.”  
As he squeezes harder, I reach down and rub my clit. I moan as I feel my orgasm building.  
“Come with me, babe.”  
He groans and says:  
“Definitely not an issue.”  
I lift my head slightly and capture his lips with mine, kissing him as we both orgasm. He lets go of my throat and I put my legs down, and we just lie there, wrapped around each other, kissing, until Juice comes back in the room. Jax pulls his mouth off of mine and says:  
“God, I love you.”  
“I love you. Now get off of me so I can fuck my husband.”  
He winks at me and says:  
“Wow…Taking ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’ to a whole nother level, huh, baby?”  
I pat his cheek as I say:  
“Such drama. Don’t worry princess, I promise to cuddle with you after.”  
“Oh, snarky girl.”  
I kiss him again and he climbs off of me as Juice says:  
“Get on your knees, babe.”  
“Uh…my wrist.”  
“Support yourself on your elbows. You won’t be there for long.”  
“So bossy.”

I flip over and support myself on my elbows and knees. Juice runs his fingers along me and says:  
“So wet…”  
I hear him lick his fingers off before he says:  
“And you taste so good…that combination of you and Jax.”  
“Can you just fuck me please?”  
“How are you so impatient? You literally just had a cock in you.”  
“Wasn’t yours.”  
He doesn’t respond, he just slides into me. I push back into him and moan when he wraps his arm around my stomach and pulls me up onto his lap as he kneels on the bed. He pulls me tight against his chest and I lean my head back, resting it on his shoulder and pressing my face into the side of his neck as we slowly move together. 

Jax moves and kneels in front of us, kissing me and then Juice before he reaches down and rubs my clit as Juice moves inside of me. Jax straddles Juice’s lap in front of me, pressing his body tight against mine and kissing Juice as he continues to rub my clit.   
“Jesus Christ…The two of you are going to be the death of me.”  
Jax pulls away from Juice’s mouth and laughs before saying:  
“Death by orgasm?”  
“Yes. Is that a thing?”  
Juice says:  
“I don’t think so. Don’t be dramatic.”  
I bite Juice’s neck and he moans.  
“I’m going to come if you do that, babe.”  
I smirk and bite him harder as I tighten my vaginal muscles. He groans and his body jerks as he releases in me. He turns his head and kisses me before saying:  
“I love you.”  
“And I love you.”

I stay on Juice’s lap as I kiss Jax and slowly jerk him until he’s completely hard again. He pulls away from my mouth and smirks as he says:  
“You want another ride, babe?”  
“Nope. I want to watch you fuck Juice.”  
“Such a demanding little girl.”  
“Whatever. You know you want to fuck that beautiful ass. Hell…I want to fuck it. In fact, I’ll get him ready for you.”

I climb off of Juice’s lap and grab the lube from the bedside table. Juice gets on his hands and knees and I put some lube on my hand and some on his ass before putting the bottle down. I slowly push a finger into his ass, rotating it to loosen the muscles. When he moans and pushes back against my hand I add a second finger, scissoring and rotating them before adding a third finger and continuing to loosen the muscles. When I think he’s ready, I pull my hand away from him and put more lube on my hand, stroking it onto Jax’s cock, especially the head. Then I move aside and watch as Jax slowly pushes his cock into Juice’s ass as they both moan.

I go and wash my hands and quickly clean myself up before going back to the bedroom and watching them move together. I lick my lips as I watch, and Jax says:  
“You like this, huh baby?”  
“I really do.”  
Jax pulls Juice upright and turns his head before kissing him. Juice takes his cock in hand and jerks off, both of their bodies shaking as they orgasm together. I gasp and say:  
“Jesus fuck that was hot.”

They separate and go to shower. While they are in the bathroom, I climb into bed. When they come back out, they both climb into bed, one on either side of me. Jax curls himself around my back and Juice curls up in front of me, all of our legs tangle together, and we’re all asleep quickly.


	16. Sixteen

In the morning, I’m in the kitchen feeding the boys breakfast when Jax and Juice walk in fully dressed to leave.  
“Club business?”  
Jax walks over to me and kisses my cheek before saying:  
“Change in leadership vote. Bobby doesn’t like the direction Clay is taking us in.”  
I gasp and say:  
“Information! My poor little head might explode.”  
“Oh, shut up. We said we’d share. Things have been a little crazy around here.”  
“The boys and I will be at the clubhouse in a bit. Gemma is expecting us.”  
“Well then…we’ll see you later.”  
I kiss him and then while he’s kissing the kids, Juice walks over to kiss me. I whisper against his mouth:  
“I love you.”

They leave and I get the boys and I ready. We get to the clubhouse just before the sheriff’s department does. I hear Jax say something about a Mayan load of coke being jacked and three guys being missing and I gasp. He looks at me and says:  
“Not Weevil. Marcus made sure to tell me that.”  
I nod and say:  
“What the hell happened?”  
“Rival cartel shot up the clubhouse while we were in chapel.”  
“Is everyone okay?”  
“Yeah. No-one got hit.”

We hear the sirens and Jax takes off his cut and hands it and his gun to Bobby to take inside.   
“Where is Juice?”  
“Headed out to the rez. He’s fine, babe.”  
Jax takes Xander out of the car and I grab Abel. We head into the garage office where Clay and Gemma are. Clay says:  
“We got it handled.”  
Gemma looks at him like he’s grown a second head and says:  
“Handled? They dumped a bag of heads! The garden fundraiser is tonight.”  
Jax says:  
“Ain’t gonna be any fundraiser after this.”  
Gemma says:  
“We can’t back out.”  
“We don’t know what the hell we’re dealing with here, Mom!”  
“If we hide, it looks like we’ve got something to hide from.”  
I say:  
“Gemma’s right, love. We have to do the fundraiser.”  
Clay says:  
“Fundraiser shows Charming the Sons give a shit. We need that. I’ll get Tig to shadow you. He’s the only one I trust to keep you safe.”

As the sheriff’s pull in, Jax says:  
“Shit.”  
Jax, Gemma, and Clay all walk up to Eli to talk to him, and the boys and I trail after them. We get there in time to hear Eli say:  
“You really do have a beautiful family, Jax. It’d be awful to see their Daddy catch a bullet. Speaking of which, where is Mr. Ortiz?”  
Jax looks around and says:  
“Not here. Do you have kids, sheriff?”  
“You know I don’t.”  
“You really should. It’s good to have a reason not to die.”  
“Your compound is a crime scene. Stay out of our way.”

Eli looks at me and says:  
“Take those boys home, Veronica.”  
“We have the garden fundraiser tonight, Eli. You know that. Gemma and I have stuff to do today.”  
He shakes his head and walks away. 

Clay points at Tig and says:  
“Take care of them.”  
“Always.”  
Tig wraps an arm around Gemma and one around me as we stand and watch the guys leave. 

When we get back to the clubhouse after doing some errands, we check on Chuckie and the chilli and Gemma realizes that there is a head in the pot.  
“Did you follow the recipe?”  
“I had to add a few things on my own.”  
“I see that. Take it out to the reservation for Happy. I think he likes it this way.”

When we walk out of the clubhouse, Gemma says:  
“My darling…”  
“You want money for the garden?”  
“Yeah. Clay is going to suggest that he and Elliot put up the remaining $75K, but we don’t have that.”  
“I do. Let’s go to the bank. I’ll transfer it to you and he can write a big, fancy cheque.”  
“Good girl.”  
We go to the bank and then back to Gemma’s house to remake the chilli.

At the fundraiser, I sit at a table with Gemma, Tig, and the boys until Clay goes up to formally make his donation. As he’s talking, Tig is holding Abel and Eli takes Xander from me as he whispers:  
“Rest that wrist, kiddo.”  
When Clay hands Rita the cheques, I whisper in her ear:  
“The cheque from Clay is clean money. It came out of my bank account earlier today. It’s not blood money.”  
“Thank you, love.”

When Jax gets home that night, the boys are in bed and I’m sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea.  
“Where’s Juice?”  
“Gun warehouse…He said he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but I think he just didn’t want to be here for this.”  
“For what?”  
“We found out that a Mayan was feeding the Lobo cartel intel about the gun shipments and coke shipments.”  
“Who?”  
“It was Weevil. I’m sorry, baby. Luis killed him.”  
“Weevil would never betray Marcus like that.”  
“But he did, baby.”  
“No. It wasn’t him.”  
“Sweetheart…it was. He admitted it.”

There’s a knock on the door, so I get up to answer it. When I open the door, I see Marcus standing on the porch.  
“Can I come in, sweetheart?”  
“Is it true?”  
“Yeah. It’s true. I’m so sorry, my darling girl.”  
I collapse to my knees and loudly sob. Marcus comes into the house and tries to comfort me but I shake his hands off and say:  
“Don’t touch me.”  
Jax puts his hands on my shoulders and I say, again:  
“Don’t touch me!”  
I take a deep breath and stand up.  
“I’m going to go to the cabin tonight. Piney has the right idea…hide out and drink tequila. I’m sure he’ll share with me.”  
Jax says:  
“Babe…we have tequila here.”  
“I need to be not near you right now. Stay with the boys.”  
“Yeah…Okay.”


	17. Seventeen

When I get up to the cabin, I hear a shotgun blast. I run up to the door and say:  
“Piney?”  
Clay opens the door, pointing a gun at me and says:  
“Sweet girl…this is unfortunate.”  
I look over and see Piney’s body.  
“Jesus Christ, Clay. Why?”  
“He has old journals of JT’s…I couldn’t let him bring them to light.”  
“What’s your plan? You can’t just leave the old man like this.”  
“Make it look like Lobo.”  
“Not their style. No-one will buy it. May I make a suggestion?”  
“Sure.”  
“Could you stop pointing the gun at me while I do?”  
“Yeah. I guess so.”  
He lowers his gun and I say:  
“You need to find the journals anyways, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“So we trash the place while we’re looking. You shot him with his own shotgun. If we trash the place we can make it look like a home invasion gone wrong. We find the journals, we burn them. I act like I got here and found him like this. We gotta be fast though. Jax knows what time I left the house.”  
“You’re going to help me?”  
“Duh. Knowing you killed Piney after causing Donna’s death would destroy Opie and Jax. I have to help you.”  
“And you’ll keep it to yourself?”  
“Just like I’ve kept the contents of JT’s letters to Maureen to myself since Ireland. I have no interest in drudging up the past. Jax is conflicted about everything enough without more JT in his fucking head.”  
“Maureen has letters?”  
“Maureen had letters. I burned them before I left.”  
“Good girl.”  
“So shall we start looking?”  
“Yeah. Once we’re done, you going to call the sheriff?”  
“Makes the most sense.”  
“Okay. I can trust you, right, Veronica?”  
“Yeah, Clay. You can trust me. This? This was what was best for the club, just like making it look like a home invasion is what is best for the club.”  
“You are an excellent old lady and are going to make a fine queen. I’m almost tempted to change the bylaws to patch you in.”  
“I like being an old lady, Clay. I like having the job of taking care of my guys and their brothers. I’m always willing to step in if needed though.”

We search the entire cabin, both of us wearing gloves, trashing it the whole time. I finally find the journals on the top shelf of the bedroom closet. I hand them to Clay and say:  
“Get out of here. I’ll call the sheriff and handle that side of it. Act suitably upset when you hear the news.”  
I follow him outside, taking my gloves off and throwing them into my glove box before turning my car on and letting it get warm again while I open the cabin door and touch Piney’s body, making sure to get blood on the hand I won’t be touching my car with, and wiping it on my pants. I go back outside and turn off the car, then summon some tears for the 9-1-1 call. When Eli gets there, I’m leaning against the hood of my car, crying. I have streaks of blood on my face and pants, and remnants of blood on my hand and cast. Eli walks up and wraps his arms around me. I sob:  
“Piney’s dead.”  
“I know, kiddo. Did you call Juice or Jax?”  
“No…Just you.”  
“Did you touch anything inside?”  
“The door, Piney. I don’t think I touched anything else, but…I don’t remember, Eli.”  
“Are you okay to drive home?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay. Go home. I’ll let you know if I have any other questions.”  
“Okay. I think Opie was going to his mom’s house to see the kids, so you will probably need to call his cell.”  
“Thanks. Go home.”  
I get in the car and drive home. 

When I walk in, Jax looks at me and says:  
“What the hell happened?”  
“Piney is dead. Someone forced their way in. Shot Piney in the chest. Trashed the cabin. They were gone by the time I got there.”  
“We’ll handle it, babe.”  
“I called Eli. The sheriff’s department is there now.”  
“Old ladies don’t call the cops.”  
“I do! Piney deserves an actual investigation…Opie, Ellie, and Kenny deserve it too.”  
“You should have called me first.”  
“It didn’t seem club related, there’s nothing sensitive in the cabin. I made a call. Now excuse me while I go wash my friend’s blood off of me.”

I go shower and change into pyjamas. When I go back to the living room, Jax is sitting on the couch wearing pyjama pants. I’m about to go sit with him when there’s a knock on the door. 

When I open the door I see Leo standing on the porch.   
“Veronica. May I come in?”  
“Not without a warrant, FBI special agent D’Amato.”  
“So formal. I just want to talk.”  
“So talk.”  
“Let me in, Veronica.”  
“No.”  
“Piney Winston is dead. I hear you’re…friendly with his son.”  
“He’s my best friend, Leo. I understand that’s difficult for you to understand since you have no friends, but normal, non-sociopathic individuals are able to maintain friendships with other people.”  
“Rumour has it his wife left him because you fucked him.”  
“Rumour is wrong. Yeah. I fucked him. But she has fucked my husband too, so…we kind of called it even. She left because he wants more kids and she doesn’t. Kind of a normal marriage disagreement.”  
“Normal disagreement in relationships in general…Right? How many abortions did you have when we were together?”  
“Five. But that was because some abusive asshole swapped my birth control out for sugar pills, poked holes in condoms, fucked me without condoms — against my will, and flushed my plan B.”  
“I wanted kids, you didn’t.”  
“Not with you.”  
He smirks and says:  
“Veronica Mars with kids? No fucking way.”  
“I have two sons, Leo, and we’re trying for more kids. I love being a mom, I just couldn’t bear the thought of having your kids.”  
“You had kids with these assholes? God…I thought you were smarter than that. I guess you really were just a stupid whore.”

Jax jumps up from his seat and walks over to the door, moving in front of me.  
“This conversation is over.”  
“So do you have to do a DNA test for every kid she pops out? You must, right? Considering how much of a whore she is?”

From the darkness behind Leo I hear Juice say:  
“Leo, get the fuck away from my house and my wife. And stay away.”  
Leo smirks and says:  
“Juan Carlos Ortiz…Or should I say, Norris Clayton? Which are you going by these days?”  
“Juice. My name is Juice.”  
“Well, that’s a stupid name.”  
“Maybe, but it sounds damn good when Veronica screams it when I make her come. How did it sound when she screamed your name?”  
“Veronica is quiet when she orgasms.”  
Juice and Jax both laugh and say:  
“No…She’s not. Our girl is extremely vocal. Guess she was faking with you.”

From behind me, I hear:  
“Mommy?”  
I loudly say:  
“That’s enough! Leo needs to leave. Now.”

I turn around and pick up Abel, wincing when the action pulls at my wrist.  
“Hey, kiddo. Agent D’Amato is leaving and Dad’s coming inside…Right, Dad?”  
Juice says:  
“Yup. Goodbye, Leo.”  
He pushes past Leo and walks into the house, closing and locking the front door behind him. He walks over to me and puts his hand on my cheek.  
“Are you okay, baby?”  
“About Leo or about Piney?”  
“Either? Both?”  
“Not really. Go change into pyjamas and we’ll all sit and read Abel a story.”  
He kisses me and leaves the room. Jax sits back down on the couch and I sit next to him.  
“Abel, why don’t you pick a storybook? Mommy has to call Grandpa.”

I pick up my phone and dial Clay’s number.  
“Veronica?”  
“Has Eli been there yet?”  
I hear Gemma say:  
“No. Should we be expecting the fine sheriff?”  
“Yeah, you should…I’m sorry…Piney is dead. I went up to the cabin to see him and found the place trashed and him shot in the chest. He was dead when I got there.”  
“Jesus. Are you okay, sweetheart?”  
“Not really. Can you call the rest of the guys and let them know?”  
“No. Let’s tell them tomorrow at breakfast. Can you come?”  
“Can I bring the boys, or should I call Rita or Unser?”  
“Call Unser.”  
“Yeah. Okay. See you for breakfast.”

I hang up and dial Unser’s number.  
“Hi there, darlin’.”  
“Hey, Wayne. Can you come over to the house and watch the boys tomorrow? The queen has requested my presence at the club breakfast.”  
“Sure. What time?”  
“Eight?”  
“Sure. I’ll be there.”  
“Thank you.”  
I hang up and put my phone on the table. 

Juice comes out of the bedroom and sits next to me as Abel climbs back up with a book. We read the story and Jax puts Abel back to bed. We all go to bed, curling together before going to sleep


	18. Eighteen

The next morning, Jax tells Juice to go to the clubhouse and check for bugs now that the sheriff’s department is done. Juice pouts a little bit and says:  
“So no breakfast for me?”  
Jax shrugs and says:  
“You’re the computer guy. Go be the computer guy.”  
“Fine.”  
I wrap my arms around him and say:  
“Do you want me to make cookies today?”  
“Yes. Snickerdoodles.”  
“Duh.”  
Jax looks at us and says:  
“He doesn’t eat sweets.”  
I laugh and say:  
“He’s never been able to turn down my snickerdoodles.”  
“I eat like…two at a time. It’s not like I’m Wallace, scarfing down a whole batch in a sitting.”  
“Wallace really loves snickerdoodles. I used to make him spirit boxes before his basketball games. I would fill them with snickerdoodles and put them in his locker. He had no idea it was me until he came over one night and caught me baking. It was unfortunate, really, because it started him on the whole ‘Veronica Mars is a marshmallow’ thing again…”  
“When did you make him spirit boxes?”  
“Senior year.”  
“When did you have time to bake senior year?”  
“Generally in the middle of the night when I wasn’t sleeping. I didn’t sleep much senior year…I had nightmares about the bus crash.”  
“You weren’t on the bus.”  
“Yeah…But I had dreams about the kids who were until I solved it. And I was supposed to be on the bus. Before it stopped at the gas station, I was on the bus.”  
“Why weren’t you after that?”  
“Meg was mad at me. She told the bus driver everyone was there, so the bus left without me on it.”  
“How did you leave the gas station?”  
“Weevil.”  
“Oh.”

Jax says:  
“Are you still mad at me about him?”  
“I was never mad at you. I was upset about my friend dying.”  
“You said you didn’t want to be near me.”  
“I didn’t want to be near anyone.”  
“Except Piney.”  
“Piney was a reasonable dude who just wanted to be grouchy and drink. He wouldn’t have tried to talk to me or comfort me.”  
“Oh. So you just didn’t want to be near me because I love you.”  
“Exactly.”

There’s a knock on the door and then Unser walks in. Abel runs up to him yelling:  
“Uncle Touchy!”  
Unser shakes his head as he picks Abel up.  
“Can we try Uncle Wayne?”  
“Uncle Touchy.”  
Unser looks at me and I laugh.  
“It’s all Gemma, Wayne. I can’t help you.”  
“Ugh.”  
“We’ll be home after breakfast, okay?”  
“Yeah. We’re fine. Go.”

We all kiss the kids and leave the house. Juice starts to walk over to his bike, but I grab his wrist and pull him back to me.   
“What, babe?”  
“Be safe…being there alone this morning.”  
“Always. I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
I kiss him and let him go.

Once he drives off, I walk over to Jax and wrap my arms around his waist.  
“You know I love you, right?”  
“Yeah…It just hurts when you won’t let me comfort you.”  
“I know. I’m sorry.”  
“I tried to stop Luis. I tried to convince him that Weevil didn’t need to die. I tried to save him. I’m sorry, baby. I know how much you loved him.”  
“It’s not your fault, Jax.”  
“I know. But I still feel guilty.”  
“Don’t. Feeling guilty about something that wasn’t your fault is a quick road to insanity.”

I stand on my toes and kiss him, deepening the kiss as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me tight against himself. When we pull apart he says:  
“I love you, Veronica.”  
“I love you, Jackson. We should go to breakfast.”  
“Let’s not. Let’s just go for a ride. You and me.”  
“As good as that sounds, we have to go to breakfast.”  
“Ugh. Fine.”  
“Hey, it’s not my fault our lives are constantly crazy.”  
“Once this Lobo shit is handled we should go for a date day.”  
“Sure. I’ll schedule it for the second Tuesday after never.”  
“Oh, come on.”  
“Babe…The Lobo shit will get handled and then something else will happen. Something else always happens.”  
“So pessimistic.”  
“Realistic. Let’s go before your mother hunts us down.”

We get on the bike and I wrap my good arm around him, gripping his shirt with my fingers while resting my sore arm on my leg. It doesn’t take us long to get to Gemma’s house and when we park the bike and get off, Jax wraps his arm around my waist before we walk into the house. 

Clay is sitting at the dining room table when we walk in, but the rest of the guys aren’t here yet. Jax walks past Clay and sits to his left, as usual, and I follow, resting my hand on Clay’s shoulder before leaning down to kiss his cheek. He quietly says:  
“Are you okay, baby?”  
“No. Finding Piney like that was upsetting.”  
“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”  
“Yeah…I’m just glad it was me and not Mary or Opie.”  
He reaches up and squeezes my fingers where they are still resting on his shoulder before saying:  
“You’re such a good girl, Veronica. An excellent old lady and one day you’ll make a wonderful queen.”

I move away from him and sit on Jax’s lap.  
“How would that work anyways? Can I actually be queen if I’m not married to the president? I mean, I can’t even officially be his old lady since I’m married to another active member.”  
“There aren’t any official rules to that effect, and none of the guys have an issue with you belonging to both Juice and Jax.”  
“Good to know.”

The other guys start walking in and taking their seats. Jax has his arms wrapped tightly around me so I can’t leave his lap. When Opie walks in, I whisper:  
“Jax, you need to let me go.”  
He sighs and releases me so I can stand up. I walk over to Opie and wrap my arms around him.  
“I’m so sorry, Ope.”  
“You called the sheriff instead of the club. What were you thinking?”  
“I was thinking that Piney deserved an investigation.”  
He kisses the top of my head and I step away from him before walking back over to Jax. 

Jax pulls me back onto his lap as Gemma pours coffee for the guys. When she walks behind me, she twirls a bit of my hair around her fingers and kisses my cheek.

Chibs says:  
“Where’s Juicy Boy?”  
Jax says:  
“At the clubhouse. The sheriffs are done. I have him sweeping for bugs and checking hard drives.”

Clay says:  
“Veronica has news she needs to share with everyone.”  
I take a deep breath and say:  
“I went to the cabin last night to see Piney and I found the cabin trashed and Piney dead. It looked like he had been shot in the chest with a shotgun. I called sheriff Roosevelt. Before any of you start with me, it didn’t seem club related and Piney doesn’t keep anything sensitive at the cabin. I made a judgement call.”  
Chibs says:  
“Why did you go to see Piney?”  
Bobby says:  
“Yeah. You weren’t close.”  
I shake my head and say:  
“I wanted to be near someone who would just let me grieve in peace. I had just found out about Weevil. I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t want to be comforted. Piney seemed like the obvious choice.”  
Tig says:  
“You could have come to me or Happy. We wouldn’t have tried to comfort you.”  
I look at him and raise my eyebrow before saying:  
“We both know that isn’t true. Happy is more of a softy than he likes people to know, and you held me all night after I killed Salazar because you knew I was going to have a hard time with that and you didn’t want me to be alone. You may be a crazy tough biker, but you’re a big marshmallow. At least as far as Gemma and I are concerned.”  
Clay says:  
“Go with Gemma now, sweetheart. Let us have chapel.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

I kiss Jax and get up, following Gemma into her greenhouse to check her plants. She closes the door and quietly says:  
“I know he killed Piney. Why are you covering for him?”  
“I don’t know what you mean, Gemma.”  
“He told me that Piney had journals that he was threatening to show Jax. He told me he shot Piney. He told me that making it look like a home invasion was your idea. Why?”  
“Those journals staying hidden is what’s best for the club. Jax and Opie not finding out about Clay’s role in Piney’s death is what is best for the club.”  
“I officially have nothing else to teach you. You’ve figured it out. It’s the queen’s job to protect the club…Even from the club…Even when it’s hard or it hurts. I know staging that break-in hurt. I know lying to Jax and Juice hurts. I know letting Clay touch you makes your skin crawl right now. But you are holding all of that to yourself and protecting the club. Good girl.”  
“I have no issue with Clay. Being near him doesn’t bother me.”  
“Really?”  
“Really. You know as well as I do that we wouldn’t have been able to reason with Piney. Clay did what he needed to.”


	19. Nineteen

Before Gemma can say anything else, my phone rings.  
“Eli? Do you have news about Piney?”  
“No, sweetheart. Where are you right now?”  
“Gemma’s. Why? What’s wrong?”  
“I’ll be right there.”  
He hangs up and I look at Gemma.  
“He’s on his way. Something’s wrong.”

We walk out to the dining room, and Gemma says:  
“Sorry for the chapel interruption, but the sheriff is on his way.”  
Opie says:  
“News about Pop?”  
I shake my head and say:  
“He says no, but there’s definitely something wrong. I could hear it in his voice.”

I pull out my phone and dial Juice’s number. It goes straight to voicemail. I hang up and say:  
“Juice’s phone is off.”  
Jax says:  
“I’m sure he’s fine, babe.”  
“I don’t know…I have a bad feeling.”

There’s a knock on the kitchen door and I open it to find Eli and Vinnie Van Lowe. Vinnie wraps his arms around me and says:  
“Veronica…I’m sorry. I didn’t think he cared anymore.”  
I step backwards and say:  
“Vinnie…What did you do?”  
“I was talking to Liam, just shooting the shit, you know? He asked about you. Mentioned he hadn’t seen you around in a while. I told him you were married…Living here.”  
“Why would you tell that inbred, white trash sociopath anything about me?”  
“I was drunk. I wasn’t thinking.”  
“Do you ever think?! Honestly, Vinnie! Is he coming here? What else did you tell him?”  
“That you came into some money…He thought it was the money Kendall stole…He freaked out. Wouldn’t let me explain that it was from Duncan.”  
“So he’s coming here?”

Eli says:  
“We think he might already be here.”  
“My kids are home with Unser.”  
“I sent Eglee and Cage to your house. Eglee says the boys are fine.”  
“Juice’s phone is off.”  
“Where is he?”  
“Teller Morrow.”  
“I sent people there. Hang on.”

He steps away to use his radio and I reach out and grab Vinnie’s ear, twisting until he drops to his knees.  
“Vincent…If Liam hurts anyone I love because you couldn’t keep your big mouth shut, I will send you back to your mother in little pieces. Do you understand me?”  
“Yes…I understand. Ow, Veronica.”  
I let go of his ear and he stands up, rubbing at it.  
“I think you broke the cartilage.”  
“I think I don’t give a shit. Why are you still doing work for the fucking Fitzpatricks? Neptune is a corrupt enough town that you don’t need to work for the resident meth dealers.”  
“They pay well…plus, have you ever tried to say no to one of those crazy-ass motherfuckers?”  
“Yeah. I was 18, and Liam pinned me to a pool table and threatened to tattoo my face. And then I was 19 and he threatened to rape me and cut pieces off of me and send them to Dad…Remember?”  
“Oh…yeah.”  
“Liam Fitzpatrick is one of the few people in this world I’m actually afraid of and you just sicced him on my family!”  
“I’m sorry, V.”

Eli walks back over with tears in his eyes. Shake my head and say:  
“No. No.”  
I start to cry and he says:  
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart…Do you want the details?”  
“Yes.”  
“It looks like they got the jump on him in the parking lot. When my deputies found him he was chained to one of the lifts. He had been tortured to death.”  
I take a deep breath and say:  
“They?”  
“It had to be at least two guys to overpower Juice.”  
“Liam brought Danny Boyd with him…right, Vinnie?”  
“Probably. Danny is his enforcer.”

I wipe my tears away and say:  
“Sheriff Roosevelt…Please release my husband’s body to the funeral home so preparations for his funeral can start. I don’t need you to investigate.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Sheriff…Eli. Liam Fitzpatrick and Danny Boyd will not be an issue for Charming after today. I need this, Eli.”  
He just stares at me for a moment and says:  
“Okay. I won’t investigate. I will release Juice’s body. I don’t want those bodies to drop in Charming, Veronica.”  
“They won’t. Thank you, Eli.”

Eli leaves and I turn to look at the guys, they all stand up and start to walk over to me. I hold my hands up and they all stop moving towards me.   
“Happy…please take Vinnie to Jax’s. I’ll join you later. Just keep an eye on him. He’s an idiot, but slippery.”  
“Yes, I will.”  
As Happy walks over and grabs Vinnie’s arm, I say:  
“Tig, can you go relieve Eglee and Cage at my house?”  
“Yes.”  
“Don’t let my boys out of your sight…please.”  
“No-one will get to those kids, Ronnie. I promise.”  
“I know. There’s no-one I trust them with more.”  
Gemma says:  
“I’m coming with you, Tigger.”  
“I figured you would.”

They follow Happy and Vinnie out of the house and I say:  
“Jax, can you find out if we can use the reservation?”  
“Yeah. Are you sure you want to do this, baby?”  
“I need to do this.”  
“Okay.”  
He picks up his phone and dials a number before starting to speak quietly.

Clay walks over to me and says:  
“Sweetheart…It’s okay to break down right now.”  
“I need to handle Liam and Danny…then I will mourn.”  
“Okay. How can we help?”  
“You guys don’t need to be involved. This is my problem.”  
“Veronica…They killed our brother. How can we help?”

Jax hangs the phone up and says:  
“South reservation. Exit off 18. Where the wedding was.”  
“Thank you. Will you take me to your place to make Vinnie call Liam to get him to the rez?”  
“Yup.”

I look at everyone else and say:  
“Anyone who doesn’t want to be involved, it’s okay. I understand.”  
Chibs says:  
“Are you insane, little one? They killed Juice. Our Juice. There is no way in hell we’re not helping.”  
“Okay. Can you guys go to the reservation? Park where Liam won’t see your bikes when he pulls in.”  
“What’s the plan once he gets there?”  
“Secure him and Danny. They both can easily overpower me on their own…They have in the past.”

Bobby says:  
“You sent away the two guys best suited to torture, kid.”  
“I’m fully aware of who I sent away. I don’t need Happy or Tig to do this for me.”  
“This is different than shooting someone in the head, darlin’. Torturing someone to death…it could break you.”  
My eyes fill with tears and I say: “I’m already broken. They did that when they took him from me. This is my fucking healing ceremony. Putting things right with the universe.”

The guys all nod and leave the house. When I hear them drive off, I walk over to Jax and wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my face into his chest and sobbing.  
“I’m so sorry, baby…This is my fault. He shouldn’t have been there alone.”  
“We had no reason to suspect that he would be in danger. This is not your fault, Jax.”  
“You don’t blame me?”  
“Of course I don’t. Why would you think I did?”  
“I sent him there alone. He should have been here with us.”  
“It is not your fault Liam showed up. It is not your fault that Juice is dead. I do not blame you, love.”  
“I need to help you with them, Veronica…He was mine too.”  
“I know. He loved you, Jax.”  
“I loved him.”  
“I know.”  
I lift my head and put one of my hands on the back of his neck before standing on my toes and kissing him.  
“I love you. This is not your fault.”  
“I love you. It’s not your fault either.”  
“Let’s go get Vinnie to call Liam.”


	20. Twenty

When we get to Jax’s house we walk inside and find Vinnie tied to a chair in the kitchen.  
“Happy…why is he gagged?”  
“Dude is annoying. Does he ever shut up?”  
“No. He doesn’t.”

I remove the gag from Vinnie’s mouth and whisper:  
“They tortured my husband to death, Vinnie.”  
“Veronica…I didn’t know they were going to hurt anyone.”  
“Oh, Vinnie…You’re stupid, but not that stupid.”  
“Please…Veronica. You’ve known me since you were five.”  
“I had known him since I was five!”  
“You’re married to Norris? They killed Norris?”  
“Yeah, Vinnie. They killed Norris. My husband. Angelica’s father, Alexander’s father…The man I have loved since I was sixteen. The love of my life. That’s who they killed.”  
“Shit. I’m so sorry, Veronica. I…didn’t expect them to do that.”  
“I want you to do something for me, Vinnie. And if you do a good enough job and don’t tip Liam off, I’ll let you go home. Completely unharmed.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. You’re an idiot, but you didn’t mean for this to happen.”  
“What do you want me to do?”  
“Call Liam. Tell him to come to the Wahewa reservation outside of town. There’s an entrance off of Highway 18. Tell him I gave you the money but left you on the reservation. Tell him he can have the money, but he needs to come to get you.”  
“I can do that. Scary dude has my phone.”

I turn to look at Happy and say:  
“Hap, give me the idiot’s phone.”  
Happy hands it to me and I face Vinnie again.  
“If I untie you to make this call are you going to behave?”  
“Yes.”

Jax pulls his gun and puts it against Vinnie’s head.  
“Now he will.”  
“True. Vinnie, you tell Liam anything other than what we agreed upon, and you get a bullet to the brainpan…squish. Got it?”  
“Yes. Thank you for the Serenity reference though…it was oddly comforting…like V.Mars is still in there somewhere.”  
“I grew up, Vinnie. I’m still me.”  
“You’re kind of scary now.”  
“You got my husband killed, Vinnie.”  
“I know. I’m sorry…”

I untie him and hand him his phone.  
“On speaker, Vinnie.”  
He dials a number and puts it on speaker. I cringe when I hear Liam’s voice.  
“Vinnie. Where the hell are you?”  
“I got the money from Veronica…But she left me out on the fucking Indian reservation.”  
“You fucking idiot.”  
“Come pick me up and the money’s yours, pal.”  
“Does she know I carved up her husband yet?”  
“She didn’t when she was with me.”  
“Fine. How do I get to this reservation?”  
“It’s just north of town. Take Highway 18, there’s a sign. It’s the Wahewa reservation, I think.”  
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes…And Vinnie…If you are lying to me, I’m going to cut your head off.”  
“Have I ever lied to you? Wait…don’t answer that.”  
“Twenty minutes, Vinnie.”

Vinnie hangs up and hands me the phone. I tie him back up and put his gag back in before looking at Happy.  
“Hold on to him until you hear from me.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I reach out and touch Jax’s cheek.  
“Put the gun away, baby. We need to get to the reservation.”  
“He caused them to come here. It’s his fault Juice is dead. It’s his fault we have to go home and explain to our kids why Dad isn’t coming home.”  
“I know, love. But I made a deal with him. Vinnie didn’t mean any harm. He’s just an idiot.”  
“Veronica…”  
“I know, Jax. But we don’t have time. We need to go. Now.”  
He puts the gun away and takes my hand before walking towards the door. 

When we get to the reservation, Jax parks next to everyone else and we stand with them while we wait for Liam and Danny to arrive. When they pull in, I wait until they are both out of the car before I step out of the trees, gun drawn. Liam grins and shakes his head as he says:  
“Little Veronica Mars.”  
“It’s Veronica Ortiz now, asshole.”  
“You going to keep that shitty name now that the husband attached to it is dead?”  
“Yeah, Liam. I am.”  
“Shame about what happened to him. He wouldn’t tell us where to find you. Didn’t even realize he was your husband until he let it slip towards the end. Got your address from his wallet, but there were cops there by the time we found the place…Now…Veronica. What were those cops guarding? My money?”  
“My kids. And I don’t have your damn money, Liam. No-one does. Kendall never told Dad where she hid it, and Cormac killed her before she could get it from her hiding spot…And then you killed Cormac…your brother.”  
“So the millions of dollars you suddenly came into?”  
“I got it years ago…From Duncan Kane. It was guilt money.”  
“Guilt over what?”  
“Him taking my virginity when I was drugged and unable to actually consent.”  
“Seriously? Millions of dollars for that?”  
“Uh…Liam? He’s a billionaire. The amount he gave me is a drop in the bucket.”

I shift my eyes to Danny and say:  
“Danny…was it you or Liam who killed my husband?”  
“I actually killed him, but Liam is the one who tortured him. I stabbed him once. I hit a major artery and he bled out.”  
“Did you do that on purpose?”  
“Yeah…I remembered him from when he was a kid. He liked swords. He was always a good guy. I didn’t like watching him suffer.”  
“Thank you, Danny.”

I shoot Danny in the head and say:  
“Now, Liam…”  
“No quick death for me? Since when are you such a cold-blooded killer, by the way?”  
“Cold-blooded? That was fucking mercy, Liam. I was fully intending on torturing both of you.”  
“And how exactly are you planning on keeping me here, little girl?”  
“Oh…Easily.”  
I hold my broken arm up and waggle my fingers. All the guys walk out of the trees. Liam’s eyes get big and he says:  
“Oh…Shit.”

Kozik reaches Liam first and punches him in the back of the head. Liam drops to the ground and I say:  
“Easy, Kozik. Don’t punch him to death.”  
The guys tie Liam’s hands together and hang him from a tree by his wrists, his toes barely touching the ground. Jax pulls out his knife and cuts Liam’s shirt open before handing the knife to me. I slowly make a cut under a surprising tattoo on Liam’s abdomen.  
“Wake up, Liam.”  
“Jesus Christ. Did I get hit by a fucking truck?”  
“Pretty much…Why do you have a tattoo of Lilly’s name?”  
“Because I was fucking her. I enjoyed it. Got the tattoo and she stopped calling or coming by.”  
“Sounds like Lilly.”

Ten minutes later, Liam’s chest is bleeding from many small, deep cuts and I’m handing the knife to Jax. Liam whispers:  
“Why him?”  
“Because Juice was ours, Liam. Juice was my husband, but Jax is our boyfriend. You took Juice away from both of us and our kids.”  
“Shit…Little Veronica has been living with and fucking two bikers? What does Daddy think about that?”  
“Dad loves both of them. Hearing about Juice’s murder is going to break his heart…But hearing that you and Danny are dead will bring joy back to his life. Don’t worry.”

I kiss Jax’s cheek and say:  
“The kill is yours if you want it, baby. I killed Danny, it’s only fair.”  
“Thank you.”

I walk over to where the guys are standing and wrap my arms around Chibs, pressing my face into his chest. He wraps his arms around me and says:  
“How can I help, darlin’?”  
“You can’t.”  
“What do you need?”  
“Juice…I need Juice.”  
“I know, doll…I’m sorry.”  
He kisses my head and says:  
“Jax just opened a major artery…It’s almost over, baby.”

I step out of Chibs’s arms and say:  
“Can you guys deal with the bodies?”  
Opie says:  
“Of course. You and Jax go home to the kids.”  
“Thank you.”

I walk over to Jax and take the knife out of his hand before wiping it clean on Liam’s shirt and handing it back to Jax. I put my hand on his neck and say:  
“Let’s go home, baby.”  
“Yeah…Okay.”  
I pull out my phone as we walk towards the bike and call Happy.  
“Veronica.”  
“Let him go, Happy. Remind him that if I hear about him saying anything about us killing Liam and Danny I will slit his fucking throat.”  
“Yes, I will.”  
I hang up and get on the bike. Once I’m on, I wrap both my arms around Jax as tight as I can and say:  
“I’m insanely in love with you…You know that, right?”  
“I love you, Ronnie…So much. I need you. Please.”  
“Not here. Too many people around and I’m really not that into people watching me fuck.”  
“Home? In the shower?”  
“Yeah…Let’s go home.”


	21. Twenty-One

When we get to the house, Tig and Unser are sitting on the couch.  
“Are the boys napping?”  
Tig nods and says:  
“Should be up soon.”  
“Can you stick around while we shower in case they wake up?”  
“Of course.”  
“Thanks.”

I walk over and kiss Unser’s cheek before saying:  
“Thank you for watching them, Wayne. We’re okay with just Tig now.”  
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”  
“No…Nothing about this is okay. I still have to call Mom and Dad.”  
“Do you want me to make that call? I can call Juice’s parents too.”  
“Yeah? That would be great, Wayne. Their numbers are on my phone. His parents are listed under Clayton…They refer to him as Norris, not Juice.”  
“Okay. I’ll call while you’re in the shower and then I’ll go check on Gemma. She went home when the boys went down for their nap.”  
“Thanks.”

I turn to face Jax and say:  
“How do you feel about cutting my hair? I can’t handle the long hair with the stupid cast.”  
“It won’t be even.”  
“Oh, honey…I give zero shits. In high school, I literally chopped off my hair while it was in a ponytail. It’s just hair. I can always get it fixed.”

Tig says:  
“I can cut it. Go sit in the kitchen.”  
“Okay.”

I go and sit in the kitchen and wait for Tig to come in. When he does, he gets the scissors out of the drawer and says:  
“How short do you want it, sweetheart?”  
“Chin length, maybe a little longer?”  
“Can do.”  
“Can you?”  
“Yeah. I have practice.”  
“Okay. Go for it.”

He quickly cuts my hair to between my chin and my shoulders. Jax says:  
“Holy shit. It’s actually straight.”  
“Thanks, Tiggy.”  
“No problem, sweetheart. I’ll clean this up, go shower. Fuck Jax, it’ll make you feel better.”  
“That’s the plan.”  
I stand up and kiss his cheek before taking Jax’s hand and walking into the bedroom. 

We both collect clean clothes, then walk into the bathroom. I shut the door behind us and I get undressed before he wraps my cast in cling wrap so it doesn’t get wet in the shower. He says:  
“What was the last thing you said to him?”  
“It was ‘I love you’. I try to always end conversations with you guys that way…You never know when it’s going to be the last thing you say to someone.”  
“I said ‘you’re the computer guy, go be the computer guy’. I thought he would be safe at the clubhouse…I didn’t expect to never see him again.”  
“Hey…He knew how much you loved him, Jax. He died knowing how much we both loved him. How much those boys loved him.”  
“You think?”  
“Of course.”  
“Should we take the boys to Neptune tomorrow to see his parents?”  
“You have cartel shit to deal with…Don’t you?”  
“It can wait a couple of days while we go to Neptune and see your parents and his. And if it can’t, the guys can handle it without me.”  
“Yeah…Okay. You’re right. We should go. But right now, we both need to shower.”  
“Yeah. You’re right.”  
“Take off your clothes, Jackson.”  
“Right…I’m wearing clothes still.”

He takes his clothes off as I turn the shower on and step in. He follows me in and says:  
“Get your hair wet, I’ll wash it for you.”  
“How very domestic of you.”  
“Don’t mock.”  
“I’m not. I’m just stating facts. It’s very domestic of you.”  
“Yeah, well…All that stuff falls to me now, right? Taking care of you, all the lovey-dovey crap that he used to do.”  
“Yeah…I guess that all the lovey-dovey crap falls to you now.”  
“I’m sorry…That wasn’t the right phrasing. I don’t know how to do this without him.”  
“Yes, you do. All you have to do is love us, Jax. Love me, love the kids. Don’t cheat on me. Other than that, everything will work itself out. I’m not going anywhere. I understand life as your old lady. I know what is expected of me. I’m not leaving. I’m yours.”

He’s quiet as he washes my hair and when he’s finished I turn around to face him.  
“Talk to me, Jax.”  
“What if you decide you can’t do this without him? You didn’t want to be involved in the club. You only came back because of him. I can’t lose you too.”  
“I’m not going anywhere.”  
“How do you know that?”  
“Because I love you. I can handle this…this life, this town, this club…as long as I have you.”  
“I’m not going anywhere, Veronica.”  
“I know.”  
“How?”  
“How do I know you aren’t going anywhere? Jackson, you wouldn’t do that to the boys and me. Not after this. You would never willingly leave us.”  
“God, I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
“You’re not crying yet.”  
“Probably tonight in bed when I reach for him and he isn’t there…When it sinks in that I’ll never hear his heartbeat again…That’s when I’ll break down.”  
“What can I do for you now?”  
“Love me. Show me how much you love me.”

After we’re done in the shower we get dressed and walk out to the living room. Tig is sitting on the couch and he says:  
“Unser made the calls…Your Dad is heartbroken, Ronnie. I told him that you guys took care of the guys that killed Juice and that did cheer him up a little bit though.”  
“And Norris’s parents?”  
“Didn’t answer the phone. Unser didn’t want to leave that as a message.”  
“Fair. We’re actually going to head to Neptune tomorrow…Actually, it’s still early enough we could go today.”

Jax says:  
“Good point. You want me to go pack?”  
“Yeah…Easy to put on clothes for me unless you want to have to help me get dressed.”  
He gets up and walks into the bedroom and Tig says:  
“How are you, sweetheart?”  
“Not good, Tig…Not good.”  
“How can I help?”  
“I don’t know…Honestly, I’m not sure how to do this…how to mourn for him again.”

Before Tig can say anything, there’s a knock on the door. I walk over and open it to find Wendy standing there.  
“Wendy.”  
“Hi, Veronica. I’m sorry. One of the cops who were at the garage told me about Juice. I’m so sorry. He was a good guy.”  
“Yeah. He was. Why are you here, Wendy?”  
“I know Tara took off with Abel while Jax was inside…I wanted to know if you knew where to find her. I want to know him.”  
“He’s not with her anymore. He wanted to be with Jax.”  
“I went by Jax’s house and it didn’t look like anyone was living there.”  
“They’re living here.”  
“Your husband died this morning.”  
“Jax moved in with us the day after they got out of prison. They decided while they were inside that they were going to try to convince me to let them share me. When Abel wanted to come home, I brought him here.”  
“Oh…Jax was never great at sharing before.”  
“Yeah…I was shocked too. You want to get to know Abel?”  
“Yes.”  
“We can make that work. Not today. His Dad just died and we haven’t explained it to him yet, but leave me your number and I’ll call to arrange something.”  
“Really? You’re not going to fight me on this?”  
“Him having more people in his life who love him is not a bad thing. As long as you are clean and sober and understand that I am his mother, I’m good with you getting to know him.”  
“I do want him to know the truth.”  
“And we will tell him the truth, Wendy…I promise. When he’s older and he knows you. Okay?”  
“Okay. Jax won’t be happy about this.”  
“I’ll get him on board.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah. Give me your number.”

She hands me a card and says:  
“Thank you, Veronica.”  
“Yeah…No problem, Wendy.”  
She walks away and I close the door before turning to face Tig. He shakes his head and says:  
“Jax is not going to be happy about this.”  
“I know. I can handle Jax.”

Jax walks into the room and says:  
“I’m not going to be happy about what?”  
Tig stands up and says:  
“That’s my cue.”  
He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me before gently brushing his lips over mine. He whispers:  
“Tread softly, sweetheart.”  
“I’m fine, Tig. Thank you for being here with the boys.”  
“I’m always here when you need me.”  
He squeezes my hand and walks out of the house. I close and lock the door behind him and turn to face Jax.  
“Sit down, love.”

Jax walks over to the couch and sits down before saying:  
“Talk to me, Veronica.”  
“Wendy came by.”  
“Why?”  
“She wants to know Abel.”  
“No.”

I walk over to the couch and sit on his lap, pressing my forehead against his.  
“Jax…This is me. I think it would be good for Abel to have another person in his life who loves him.”  
“Not her.”  
“Why? She’s clean, sober…She understands that I’m his mom. She just wants to know him.”  
“I don’t trust her. She almost killed him.”  
“I know. But she was using then, Jax. She’s not now. And I wouldn’t leave her alone with him. I’d be with them every time. I wouldn’t let her hurt him.”  
“Can I think about it?”  
“Of course.”  
“You won’t go behind my back and let her see him?”  
“No. I won’t. But I need you to promise me that you won’t threaten Wendy or attack her. No club solutions to family issues.”  
“I promise.”

I tilt my head and capture his lips with mine. He moans against my mouth as he deepens the kiss. We stay like that, taking comfort in each other until Abel comes in the room and says:  
“Grandma was sad earlier. So was Uncle Tig.”  
“Yeah, baby…They were.”

I stand up and say:  
“Abel, sit with Daddy for a second. I’ll be right back.”  
I walk into the bedroom and get my photo album and Angelica box then I walk back out to the living room and sit next to Jax on the couch.  
“Abel…Did you know that Dad and I knew each other our whole lives?”  
“No.”  
I open the photo album and point to a picture of Norris and me in kindergarten.  
“That’s Mommy and Dad when we were five. That’s only a little older than you.”  
I turn the pages until I get to one from the Christmas of junior year when we were dating.  
“When we were teenagers we started dating…Like Mommy and Daddy do now.”  
I open my Angelica box and pull out the picture of me at 25 weeks and hand it to him.  
“I got pregnant. You remember what that means?”  
“You had a baby in your tummy…Like Xander was.”  
“Exactly…smart boy.”  
I take that picture back and hand him one of me holding Angelica in the hospital.  
“I had a little girl. Her name was Angelica. She’s your big sister. But she died when she was born.”  
“Why?”  
“A bad man hurt me when Angelica was still in my tummy, and it hurt her. The doctors couldn’t fix her. So she went to Heaven to live with the angels.”  
“Where’s Dad?”  
“He’s gone to be with Angelica in Heaven.”  
“Why?”  
“God decided that you and Xander didn’t need two awesome Daddies, and it was time for Angelica to have her Daddy with her.”  
“I love him.”  
“And he loves you. So much.”  
“Why did he go?”  
“Oh, baby…he didn’t have a choice. He wouldn’t have left us by choice.”  
“Will I see him again?”  
“When you are very old, the time will come for you to go to Heaven…When you do, Dad will be waiting for you with Angelica. Until then, we have pictures.”  
“Do I have a Grandma and Grandpa from Dad?”  
“Yeah…You do. We’re going to drive to see them today actually. Mommy needs to go get clothes for you and Xander and get Xander up from his nap, then we can go. Okay?”  
“Okay.”

In thirty minutes, we’re all in the car, ready to go. As Jax pulls out of the driveway, I call Dad.  
“Veronica, baby. Are you okay?”  
“Not really. We’re actually leaving right now to drive to Neptune. I didn’t want to tell his parents on the phone.”  
“I’ll get the guest room ready. You’re bringing my grandsons, right?”  
“Of course. I’m hoping the Claytons will decide they want to know the boys. It would be good for the boys to have grandparents from Juice’s side too.”  
“I agree. I hope they see the logic in that.”  
“It was Liam and Danny.”  
“I know, baby. I also know you spared Vinnie’s life.”  
“It’s Vinnie. I’ve known the stupid idiot my whole life.”  
“Are you coming here first?”  
“No…I want to tell them as soon as possible.”  
“Okay, well, drive safe and I’ll see you when you get here. I love you, sweetheart.”  
“I love you, Daddy.”

I hang up and put my phone in my purse before turning on music. Jax shakes his head and says:  
“What is this?”  
“The Rent soundtrack.”  
“Shouldn’t the driver get to pick the music?”  
“Nope. My car, my music.”  
“Unfair.”  
“Deal with it, babe.”  
Abel says:  
“Mommy, sing.”  
“Bossy baby.”  
I start singing along with the music while looking out the window and a few songs later, Jax says:  
“I’ve known you for years. How did I not know that you sing?”  
I shrug and say:  
“How much do you actually know about me, Jax?”  
“Lots.”  
“Yeah? What’s my middle name? When’s my birthday? What’s my favourite colour? Favourite food? First boyfriend? Favourite sport? Activities I did as a child? Favourite movie? Book? Song?”  
“Uh…”  
“Don’t worry. I don’t know any of that stuff about you either. Our relationship hasn’t exactly followed the normal path.”  
“Tell me. I want to know everything about you. Tell me the answers to those questions.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Fine. Anne. August 8, 1987. Sky blue. Lasagna with extra cheese. Duncan Kane. Baseball. Soccer, photography, and ballet. The Big Lebowski. Cookie Monster and the Cookie Tree. You Raise Me Up. You?”  
“Nathaniel. April 9, 1978. Dark blue. Banana bread. First girlfriend: Tara. First boyfriend: Juice. Football. Football and dirt bikes. Star Wars. I don’t have a favourite book, I will literally read anything. Enter Sandman…Why is your favourite book a kid’s book?”  
“Because I can’t choose a favourite actual book, and I’ve always loved that one.”  
“My brother Thomas liked it too. Cookie Monster meets a witch with a cookie tree, right?”  
“Yeah…Your favourite movie being Star Wars explains so very much.”  
“About?”  
“Your feelings towards Clay.”  
“Did you just compare my stepdad to Darth Vader?”  
“Maybe a little.”

He laughs and reaches over, interlacing our fingers before he pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses it.  
“I love you, Veronica…Even though our relationship hasn’t really followed the normal path.”  
“I love you.”


End file.
